Tantrums, unruly kids rushing around all day, and a chaotic, messy home – sometimes it becomes too much. We want what’s best for our children, but less can be more: less stimulation, less choice and less scheduled activity.  

When your family life goes from busy to frenetic, take a time- out. Pause. Breathe. And see how Simplicity Parenting can restore calmness and happiness in your life.  

Declutter  

Having too much stuff can be distracting and overwhelming. Reduce toys by discarding broken, developmentally inappropriate (too old, too young), high stimulation (video games, flashing lights, battery-operated) and duplicate (one instead of five teddies) ones.  

Keep their favourite toys nearby and visible and store the rest out of sight. Then, circulate them like a toy library – the same with books.  

“As you decrease the quantity of your child’s toys and clutter, you increase their attention and capacity for deep play,” says Kim John Payne, the education expert who came up with the term ‘Simplicity Parenting’. He advises to declutter the entire home, down to the lighting and noise, to reduce sensory overload.  

Dial Back Activities  

Learn to say “no, thanks” to avoid a schedule that’s more than busy. Be selective about playdates, birthday invitations, after-school sports, music lessons and other activities. This way your child has enough time to enjoy each activity and still have plenty of free time.   

“A child who doesn’t experience leisure (or better yet, boredom) will always be looking for external stimulation, activities, or entertainment,” says Payne. He regards boredom as a ‘gift’ because it sparks creativity and resourcefulness.   

A rhythmical, predictable home life provides kids with a safe harbour. Creating rhythm means they know what to expect  

Create A Rhythm  

A rhythmical, predictable home life provides kids with a safe harbour. Creating a rhythm means they know what to expect – not in the sense of rigid routines, but how the daily family life is structured.  

This includes setting time aside for rituals, such as quiet time to decompress; laying the supper table together; and having family meals where you chat about everyone’s day. Parents shouldn’t strive to make every day exceptional, but rather to teach children to appreciate normality.  

“When every note is a high note, children lose the ability to fully engage in the present and to regulate their own time”, says Payne. “Ordinary days are the sustaining notes of life.”  

Reduce Screen Time  

Getting kids away from their screens is the bane of modern-day parenting. But you need to take charge here, as too much screentime impacts on childhood development. In line with the American Academy of Paediatrics’ guidelines, Payne suggests moving electronic devices out of sight for younger children.  

Further, there should be no screens at all for children under two, and limited exposure for those aged two and older. This will allow kids to actively engage with the real world, play outdoors and free up family time. But this only works if parents get off their phones too…  

Let Them Be Children  

Be careful of what you say in front of children. Filter out any adult information that may worry or scare them. “Too much information does not ‘prepare’ a child for a complicated world; it paralyses them,” says Payne.  

That’s why adults should talk to children in an age- appropriate way, about topics they can fully understand. The idea is to limit our fast-paced ‘too much, too soon’ culture and instead to provide a simple and stress-free childhood for as long as possible.  

Good Reads: To learn more, check out these parenting self-help books:  

Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne   

Simple Happy Parenting: The Secret of Less for Calmer Parents and Happier Kids by Denaye Barahona   

Minimalist Moms: Living and Parenting with Simplicity by Diane Boden  

Words by Silke Colquhoun
Photography: Gallo/Getty Images

The post How to simplify your parenting style appeared first on TFG Media.

Children experiencing constipation may not always have the vocabulary to express their discomfort, making it difficult to communicate their inability to pass stools normally. 

Dr Suveena Bisetty, a specialist paediatric gastroenterologist practising at Netcare St Augustine’s Hospital in KwaZulu-Natal, shares how children may display symptoms of constipation and when it is necessary to seek medical attention.  

“For most children, constipation is usually self-limiting and should resolve itself without the need for medication. However, parents need to be aware that if a child has prolonged constipation that is left untreated, it can lead to the development of other problems,” she advises.  

Parents should watch for the following signs, which may indicate their child is having difficulties with bowel movements:  

• Crossing ankles or legs 
• Stiffening the body
• Attempting to hide during defacation 
• Crying or sweating on the toilet
• Pushing against walls, the floor or objects when trying to pass a stool 

“The child may experience abdominal pain and could pass overflow diarrhoea even though they are constipated, as some of the stool manages to move past solid waste remaining in the bowel,” Dr Bisetty says.  

The Paris Consensus on Childhood Constipation Terminology (PACCT) defines constipation as a period of eight weeks with at least two of the following symptoms: 

• defecation frequency less than three times 
• faecal incontinence frequency greater than 2 once per week 
• passage of large stools that clog the toilet
• palpable abdominal or rectal faecal mass 
• stool-withholding behaviour
• painful defecation. 

The Bristol Stool Chart is a clinical assessment tool that describes the shape and consistency of stools —from type 1 ‘very constipated’ to type 7 ‘diarrhoea’. Dr Bisetty says that constipation may be type 1, which is described as separate hard ‘lumps, pebbles, ribbons or nuts that are difficult to pass’ or  type 2, slightly constipated, where the stool forms a sausage shape with large lumps.  

“If constipation persists, parents must consult their child’s paediatrician or healthcare practitioner to establish the cause and resolve or manage it. If left untreated, the child could develop haemorrhoids, or piles, as the perianal veins become damaged and engorged, and this may lead to bleeding.”  

She says that other potential impacts of severe constipation could include faecal impaction, where the bowel may become obstructed, which often presents with vomiting. Faecal incontinence or encopresis may also occur, where the child loses control of their bowel movements, often resulting in soiling of the underwear or ‘accidents’.  

Ensure your child eats more fibre and drinks more water and has less than 500ml of dairy products per day

Common causes of constipation  

“Constipation has numerous causes across all age groups. Establishing the root cause of persisting constipation is essential to treating it correctly,” Dr Bisetty says.  

► Motility causes relating to stool movement may include dietary aspects, such as not enough fibre and/or water or a food protein intolerance. It could also be a sign of irritable bowel syndrome, colonic inertia, pelvic floor disorders or Hirschprung’s disease (a congenital condition where the colon’s muscles do not function normally, causing problems with passing stool).  

► Metabolic causes include diabetes, chronic kidney disease, high calcium intake (which is more common with supplements in paediatric patients), low potassium levels, hypothyroidism and hyperparathyroidism.  

► Neurogenic causes relating to the nerves may include multiple sclerosis, spinal cord injury or pathology from birth, stroke, neuropathy or myopathy in children with cerebral palsy.  

► Some medications may have constipation as a side effect – these include opioids that contain codeine, anti-inflammatories and certain cough syrups, iron or calcium supplements, some antidepressants or mood stabilisers and diuretics. Chronic laxative use is also a risk factor.  

► Mechanical factors affecting the gastrointestinal tract are less common in children.  

► Other causes of constipation may include autoimmune conditions such as scleroderma, a connective tissue disease; coeliac disease, a chronic autoimmune disorder where the ingestion of gluten leads to damage in the small intestine; food allergies; a split in the lining of the anus, known as an anal fissure; or psychological factors.  

When to seek help  

“It is imperative to seek medical attention for any of the complications described above, as well as in any of the below instances,” Dr Bisetty says. 

• Symptoms of constipation from birth or in the first few weeks of life.
• The newborn does not pass stool or has delayed stool from 72 hours old. 
• If a child has to miss school due to constipation and related discomfort. 
• Ribbon-like stools. 
• Leg weakness or locomotor movement delay. 
• Abdominal distension (stomach extending from the body) with vomiting. 
• Abnormal appearance of the anus.

“In some cases, children’s constipation may require radiological investigation to exclude other potential underlying diseases, and your doctor may order blood tests and a stool sample for analysis.”

Return to regularity  

Dr Bisetty says that treatment of constipation is multifactorial, and that diet is a crucial component. “Parents should ensure the child eats more fibre and drinks more water, and they should have less than 500ml of dairy products per day. The child should not have processed foods and eat more vegetables and less red meat. 

“Parents should encourage good toilet habits and teach children that their knees need to be above the level of their hips, with no pushing or straining when passing stools. If needed, they may require the assistance of a pelvic floor physiotherapist,” she adds 

By: MNA on behalf of Netcare St Augustine’s Hospital
Photography by: Shutterstock
Text courtesy of Club magazine

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There’s a saying that parents should give their children two things: roots to know where home is, and wings so they can fly off to live their own lives. It can be tricky to get the balance right between providing a stable, safe foundation (the roots) while giving your child the confidence to explore, learn and grow (the wings).  

“Becoming a parent is a big challenge for anyone and although mostly rewarding, parenting can be difficult and demanding,” says Childline SA, which operates a free 24/7 helpline for children and concerned adults and provides online counselling. 

“Even though you may think about your child with love and affection, you may still feel unsure of yourself and question your parenting skills,” according to Childline‘s free parenting guide, which gives practical advice and the reassurance that there’s no single ‘best way’ to raise children.  

While South Africa can be a beautiful place for families, it’s also burdened with social problems such as inequality and high crime, with chilling statistics of violence against children. So, how can parents protect and prepare their little ones for this reality? 

Get the basics right  

Children have the legal right to shelter, nutrition, education, healthcare and family care. In other words, it’s on you to provide a safe home (child-proofed for young kids), nourish your child with a healthy diet (less junk food and sugary drinks), send them to school, and keep them healthy with hygiene, routine vaccinations and health checks.  

Watch out  

Keep an eye on very young children, or ensure they have a caregiver, to avoid them getting hurt or lost. Always know where your child is and who they are with. Thanks to technology, you can now attach an Apple AirTag to your child’s backpack and track them via the `Find Me’ service. You can monitor older kids by giving them smartwatches or phones. Many SA parents with teenagers use location-sharing apps such as Life360 for emergencies and peace of mind when travelling alone or at night.  

Set clear rules  

“Children need to understand what is and is not acceptable. Make sure they know why rules are needed – and that if they are broken, there will be consequences,” says Childline. “Remember that shouting, name-calling and threatening can damage a child psychologically just as much as hitting can. Criticise the behaviour, not the child.” (For example, say “Please tidy your room” rather than “You’re such an untidy child.”)  

Knowing what’s right or wrong can also help children say ‘no’ when others behave inappropriately towards them – sidestepping unsafe situations that could include exposure to substances, bullying or sexual abuse.  

Be safe online  

To enforce your rules on screen time and to flag potentially dangerous online activity, you can monitor your child’s phone and devices with mobile apps (such as Google Family Link or Bark). FYI Play It Safe tracks social-media use, alerting you when it detects signs of cyberbullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts or online grooming by sexual predators. It’s important to respect your child’s privacy by discussing with them how you’ll use these apps. Tracking apps should be for safety, not snooping on them.  

Teach problem-solving  

“Naturally, parents want to keep their kids safe. But eliminating all risks could rob kids of learning resiliency,” says Lynn Lyons, a US psychologist and author. The key is allowing appropriate risks and teaching your kids essential life skills, she says on Psych Central. “Start young. The child who’s going to eventually get his driver’s license will have started at age five, learning how to ride his bike and look both ways.”  

Over-protecting kids only fuels their anxiety, warns Lynn. “When your child faces a challenge, engage with them to figure out how they can handle it. Give them the opportunity, over and over, to figure out for themselves what works and what doesn’t.”  

Essentially, it all comes back to giving a child wings – by not shielding them from life’s challenges but teaching them to problem-solve and stand up for themselves.

Growing up in SA  

► One third of South Africa’s population (20.9 million) is under 18 years old.  

► One in every five children does not live with either of their biological parents.  

► Only 17% of the poorest children have both parents living with them, while 73% of children in the wealthiest SA households live with both their parents.  

► A study of SA adolescents (15-17 years old) showed that half had experienced corporal punishment at school, 26% had been physically hurt by an adult, 26% suffered some form of sexual abuse and 13% emotional abuse, while 12% faced neglect.  

*Source: UCT Children’s Institute

By: Silke Colquhoun
Photography by: Shutterstock
Text courtesy of Club magazine

Also read: How to raise a confident and comfortable introverted child

The post How to protect your child in SA  appeared first on TFG Media.

As a parent, your child’s wellness is undoubtedly your main priority – even if they haven’t arrived yet or have just made their entrance into the world. This, of course, includes doing everything in your power to ensure a better and brighter future for them. 

One of the most important building blocks for creating that future is providing the best possible education for your child. With the cost of education rising every year, it’s crucial to start thinking about saving for their education as soon as possible.  

The rising cost of education  

‘Parents need to understand the rate at which educational costs are increasing. Where normal inflation sits at around 5% per year, educational inflation in South Africa is currently around 7%,’ says Marius Pretorius, Head of Marketing: Retail Savings and Income at Old Mutual*.  

‘To put this into perspective,’ she adds, ‘if your little one starts Grade R in 2024, you’re likely to spend around R1.4 million [for them] to complete public schooling and a standard four-year bachelor’s degree. And if you’re considering private schooling, get ready to fork over a staggering R2.6 million.’  

If you plan to have children in future, or if your children haven’t yet reached school-going age, be aware that these costs will keep increasing. That’s why it’s essential to start thinking about education costs now.  

Breaking down the added expenses  

When budgeting for your child’s education, you need to consider costs beyond tuition fees. Additional expenses such as textbooks, uniforms, sports gear, transport, extracurricular activities and boarding fees must form part of your budget. Most schools also require students to have tablets or laptops, which can be pricey and need replacing every few years.  

‘The educational landscape is changing, and this might also impact how you budget for your child’s tuition,’ adds Pretorius. ‘For instance, taking a gap year after matric has become common – that means starting tertiary education a year later, which adds an extra year’s inflation onto the potential cost. You might want to put something extra aside to help your child start their own business after graduation. The education framework is no longer just a set path – it can be approached in many ways, each with its own opportunities and cost implications.’  

The true value of education

The statistics speak for themselves – the higher your child’s education level, the better their chances in the job market. Likewise, it’s a proven reality that higher education levels directly correlate with higher salaries and job satisfaction.  

Consider this:  

• 63.5% of matriculants get employed**. 
• 87.5% of graduates get employed**. 

A good plan begins with good advice

Every parent faces unique circumstances, so getting help from a financial adviser can make all the difference.  

A skilled financial adviser can help you calculate how much you need to save, depending on when you start, and they can also help you work out how to free up money in your budget and still manage your current financial obligations. They could also assist you in maximising your tax efficiency and adjusting your approach to finances to accommodate life changes, in addition to providing the peace of mind that comes with having a professional guiding you through the complexities of education planning and helping you make informed financial decisions.  

Old Mutual has also created several free tools and calculators to help parents get started at www.oldmutualeducationtools.co.za  

It’s never too early to start saving for your child’s education. The longer you give yourself, the more likely you are to keep up with the perpetual rise in educational costs. Give your little one a big advantage by speaking to an accredited financial adviser today. Visit oldmutualeducationtools.co.za or call 0860 66 66 59. 

* Old Mutual Data: Investment strategies are taken at their target midpoint. CPI (Consumer Price Index) or inflation is set at 5% per year. Education inflation has been set at 7%. Although tuition fees were sourced during research, these figures can vary from year to year. Exchange rates at the time of going to print are assumed as follows: 1 USD is R18.50, and 1 GBP is 23 ZAR 

**Statistics SA – Business Tech Article, December 2021. 

Old Mutual Life Assurance Company (SA) Limited is a licensed FSP and Life Insurer. 

The post Old Mutual can help your big dreams become reality  appeared first on TFG Media.

Our moms have different personalities, aesthetics and likes, so it can often be hard to find inspiration that’s a little more geared to her individual tastes online. We’ve got the perfect gift guide for every type of mom, just in time for Mother’s Day! 

The Sporty Mom  

She’s probably going to the gym today and taking part in that fun run tomorrow! Your mom loves to stay fit and any excuse to be active. You can always count on signing up for a class doing something like dance or yoga together before grabbing a coffee as a good Mother’s Day spoil. We recommend getting her cute loungewear like the Faded Relaxed Joggers from Y&G. You can also get her a graphic crew-neck sweater she can cosy up with after her run, such as this New York Graphic Sweat Top from Foschini. If you’re willing to spend a little more, you can get her a pair of comfy Nike Metcon 5’s in Lilac Bloom. All available online from Bash. 

 

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The Fancy Mom 

Who doesn’t like a little glamour? If your mom loves anything that’s luxurious and sure to have her stand out, she’ll love these 18ct Gold Plated CZ Bar Studs with Green Dangle CZ from Galaxy & Co. If those aren’t enough this Gold Plated Sterling Silver Cubic Zirconia MAMA Pendant from American Swiss is sure to show her you appreciate her! All items available from Bash, online. She’ll be getting compliments all day long! 

 

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The Cosy Mom  

If your mom is into all things hot chocolate, cardigans and a Netflix binge, you’ve got a Cosy Mom! Try taking her out to a cute café she’s never been to and catching a movie. The best things to get her are the winter essentials such as borg jackets, beanies or scarves. We recommend the Y&G Teddy Borg Jacket,  Cable Knit Pom Pom Beanie and chic Maxi Knitted Scarf from Foschini – all available online from Bash. These items are all in neutral colours, so she’ll be able to style them with the rest of her wardrobe easily! 

 

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The Boss Mom  

The first words you think of when you think of your mom are probably “organised”, “sophisticated” and “classy”. To keep her on track, you could get her this Michael Kors Lexington Turqoise Dial Gold Plated Stainless Steel Bracelet Watch from American Swiss. Pair it with this Satin Volume Sleeve Blouse from Foschini or Luella Large Jacquard Branded Tote for her to store all her work essentials in; available on Bash. Make sure she continues to make those boss moves in style!  

 

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The Cool Mom  

She’s going with the flow and that’s why we love her! Take her to a pottery- or cooking class where the two of you can laugh and be creative for Mother’s Day. You can get her this gorgeous Yellow Gold Crusaders Medallion Pendant from American Swiss, this Abercrombie & Fitch Authentic Self EDP, or this Textured Balloon Sleeved Tunic from Foschini on Bash. Try wrapping each item in a gorgeous, patterned piece of material as a modern twist on gift wrapping that she can later fashion into a bag accessory or neckerchief.  

 

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Photography: Pexels

The post Mother’s Day Gifts for every type of mom  appeared first on TFG Media.

Mothers do the most for all of us! This Mother’s Day, show mom a little extra appreciation and love by having the kids make these easy DIY gifts.  

A bouquet of paper roses 

A cute keepsake she can keep on her office desk or at her bedside, these paper roses will last a lifetime! Cute and super easy, the kids will be able to make their own bouquets to make sure mom gets her flowers. All you’ll need is some scissors, glue, coloured paper, and a pencil.   

@sonyaart22DIY paper rose 🌹♬ original sound – ᶜ ʰ ˡ ˡ ˣ ᵉ ᵈ ⁱ ᵗ ˢ

A potato-stamp artwork 

Beautify mom’s space with this adorable and easy potato-stamp artwork! You can make this on a piece of neutral-coloured fabric (think dish cloths or a plain tote bag) for a bit of an upgrade, but doing it on paper is fine. Pick out a few of her favourite colours in paint, gather your potatoes and get to carving! When the stamped artworks are complete, you can frame them or leave them as is.  

@schoolhouseliving Potato Block Printing with Jorie!Materials Needed:-Potatoes-Fabric paint-Small foam paint rollers-Canvas-Knives#schoolhouseliving #craft #diy #crafting #blockprint #sustainable #art #painting #homedecor #diyhome ♬ Aesthetic – Tollan Kim

Mother’s Day rocky road 

Does your mom have a sweet tooth? This rocky road can be easily customised with your mom’s favourite treats! Melt your chocolate down and add in her favourite cookies, marshmallows, and sweets. You can add crushed salted pretzels to break up a bit of the sweetness if you want a little more balance. It’s super easy and allows the kids to get engaged with breaking, crumbling and mixing all the ingredients.  

@lovefromkaite it’s rocky road time 🍫🤎 #rockyroad #fyp #baking #dessert #cooking ♬ original sound Videos – Roulier Spring Daily

Dainty flower coasters 

This gift idea only requires two things: Air-dry clay and mom’s favourite flowers. It doesn’t get simpler than that! Pick a few of her favourites, plus a few leaves, to press into your clay disks. After they’ve dried you can paint them or leave them as is. Tie them together with ribbon or place them in a gift box with some hand-cut rainbow confetti when gifting – she’ll love them for years to come!  

@lizamayj DIY coasters using mum’s flowers from her garden 🌷 #diy #diycoaster #pressedflowerdiy #handmadecoaster #easydiy #homedecor ♬ Royel Otis cover Linger for SiriusXM – therockrevival

Painted pot plants  

If she has a bit of a green thumb, this one’s for you! Get the kids to paint terracotta pots before allowing them to pic a few plants for mom. You could even plant a few herbs if that’s more of her vibe. This is a great DIY to get the kids’ creativity flowing and has a very practical use. The kids can even get involved in the potting process – placing the soil into their hand-painted pots and planting the plants!  

@funpinterestdiys DIY flower pot painting ideas! such a cute idea for you to try this summer with your besties!🩵🌸 🎥: @nellie frances 🧺🌷🪩 #diy #fyp #followme #diyprojects #diycraft #summerdiys #easyart #summerdiy #cutegiftideas #tutorial #artideas #diygift #songofthesummer #cuteinspo #flowerpots #flowers ♬ Itywtd – Tyler the creator

Photography: Pexels

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Virtually every month, it seems we see new and more disturbing cases of bullying in the media. Although there have been no recent formal studies, the increase in media coverage of it suggests that bullying is on the rise in South Africa – and if not on the rise, then a case can be made that the problem has been there for some time but is increasingly coming to light, especially on social media. 

Fight club  

A survey a decade ago, back in 2013, found that over 50% of South African children were at risk of being bullied at school. You may be familiar with some of the bullying videos that went viral in 2016: in one, a student repeatedly hits a classmate in the face, and in another, a girl’s friend filmed her rambling speech laced with disturbing, threatening remarks directed at another girl.  

The fact that the bullies in these viral videos were female points to a common misconception: that bullies are boys. There are several beliefs about bullying that are simply not true, says Dr Gillian Mooney, the dean of academic development and support at the Independent Institute of Education. These also include the notion that ‘adults should stay out of it’ (false – bullying needs to be monitored and deterred), and that being bullied helps to ‘toughen’ kids up (also false – bullying can cause lasting psychological and developmental harm).   

So, what are schools doing to ensure that children are better protected? “Some provinces have gone some way in setting up structures and processes to deal with bullying,” says Dr Mooney, “but even so, more must be done to communicate these interventions and systemically enforce anti-bullying processes.”

Experts agree that bullying has a long-term impact on children’s lives. Joburg-based educational psychologist Cara Blackie says that the immediate effects are changes in a child’s day-to-day behaviour. “They may not want to partake in certain activities they used to enjoy, and they often refuse to go to school. This creates a ripple effect that impacts their educational, emotional and social functioning.”

If these effects (and the cause) are not addressed, they may lead to depression and other psychiatric disorders down the line.  

What makes a bully?

It’s easy to forget that bullies themselves need help too. “Children and teens are more likely to become bullies if they grow up in a high-conflict environment, where there is aggression and hostility between the parents,” says child psychologist Cristine Scolari. “Other factors can include physical or emotional abuse or neglect, or if the child is bullied themselves by siblings or other relatives.”  

If children live in a violent, unsafe environment, they often become aggressive to ward off perceived threats. “I’ve also seen adolescents become bullies because they feel bad about themselves or inadequate, where they may have underlying worries such as an undiagnosed learning difficulty,” says Cristine. 

Know the signs  

As a parent, you might think you’d know if your child was being victimised, but the signs may not manifest in the way you expect. Children who are being bullied can become withdrawn and secretive, which can be frustrating to parents who could be imagining a range of causes for this behaviour. Be patient and willing to listen.  

Your child may also become argumentative and irritable – the stress of being constantly broken down may lead to them overreacting to comments made at home.

Withdrawal, lying, anxiety and low self-esteem are all responses that we see in children who are being bullied, explains Dr Mooney. “Being repeatedly treated in a degrading manner will affect the way the child sees themself; they may feel ashamed, or that it’s somehow their fault that they’re being treated this way. This then affects the dynamics within the family.” 

Beat the cyberbully

The popularity of social media means that now both known and unknown individuals can socially attack a person with ease online. This could be by leaving offensive comments, inboxing them inappropriate messages or sharing an embarrassing image online. Parents need to be vigilant. Gail Dore, author of Bullyproof, recommends that you equip your child with the following advice: Don’t react in the heat of the moment. That’s what the bully wants. Take time to calm down. Block communication with the person who posted the message. Delete all the nasty messages and posts that you can, but make a hard copy first – you may need it as evidence later. Report it.  

Most social media sites don’t tolerate cyberbullying and are willing to help. Inform the school about what has happened. For extreme cyberbullying, you have recourse in the Protection from Harassment Act 17 of 2011. 

What to do

Dr Mooney has the following advice:

Listen to your child: If they have come to you for help, it’s important that you believe them. Listen and respond thoughtfully. Sometimes just being heard respectfully is the beginning of healing.

Work with your child: Bullying involves a loss of dignity and control. Involving your child in solutions helps them regain control.  

Don’t respond instinctively: The best thing you can do to stop bullying is to take a stand against it, but you can make the situation worse if you act rashly. Consider both positive and negative repercussions before you act.

The goal is to restore self-respect: It’s not about destroying the bully but improving your child’s resilience and self-respect. Sometimes this means confronting the bully, but sometimes not. You and your child should figure out how to get there together.  

Words by: Emily Pettit-Coetzee 

Photography: Gallo/Getty Images

The post How to protect your children from bullies  appeared first on TFG Media.

A third of South Africans will experience allergies during their life. About 40% are children, according to the Allergy Foundation SA. But only 2.5% of allergies are to food, and some people will experience food allergies only during childhood and outgrow them.

Yes, there are news headlines about fatal reactions to food, like Jess Prinsloo (24), who passed away in January this year due to anaphylaxis after she stirred her tea with a spoon that had come into contact with milk (she had had an acute dairy allergy since childhood). Tragedies like this are hugely worrying for parents of a child with allergies, so it’s helpful to know what you’re dealing with. 

What’s the problem?  

A food allergy is your body’s immune system overreacting to a particular food, treating it as an ‘invader’ and fighting it. Reactions can range from mild rashes and swelling to anaphylaxis (a severe reaction that includes difficulty breathing and vomiting). Although life-threatening, this extreme allergic reaction can be managed with immediate emergency medication, like epinephrine, and preventative measures through education about the allergy.  

Also read: How to manage your allergies

Is it a food allergy?  

Here’s the catch: any food can cause allergies but that doesn’t mean that every food will. Common triggers in children are eggs, milk, fish, wheat, soy, peanuts and tree nuts. 

Symptoms include swelling of the lips or tongue, itchiness inside the mouth, skin rash, crampy tummy, vomiting, diarrhoea, itchy watery eyes and nose, and a tight chest, says Dr Shaunagh Emanuel, an allergy doctor in Cape Town. It’s important to note that these are also common symptoms of other conditions: mild stomach pain could also be an immature digestive system or irritable gut; a runny nose could be a dust-mite allergy.  

“Many children will have one or more of these symptoms but won’t develop a life-threatening anaphylactic reaction,” she explains, noting that once children take an antihistamine (tablet or syrup), the symptoms usually disappear.

As a rule of thumb, “Someone with a true food allergy will have such a dramatic and quick onset of symptoms immediately after eating a particular food that there’s no doubt they’re allergic. Food allergy is not something that happens over days or weeks.” 

Get tested 

It’s crucial to get tested for a suspected food allergy, to confirm and grade its severity. Dr Emanuel cautions against online testing: “You send off your blood sample only to receive a long list of food items you’re supposedly allergic to,” she says. “If you’re tolerating a food when you eat it, you’re not allergic to it. You may be sensitised to that food, but it’s not a true allergy and you shouldn’t cut the food from your diet.”  

Many children suffer from malnutrition because parents keep them away from certain food groups, such as proteins or dairy, thinking they might be allergic. Instead of guessing, have your kids tested for the specific food you suspect is the trigger.  

Managing food allergies 

True food allergies can range from mild to life-threatening and the food must be avoided. Study food labels and write an action plan for your child’s caregivers, crèche or school. This plan should include your child’s photo, medical info and where to access their emergency medication, such as an adrenaline injector or EpiPen. Most kids will never need this, but having a plan could save their life.  

Where to get help  

Use these resources to educate yourself about food allergies: 

• Start with your GP or local government clinic for allergy testing (skin prick or blood test).  
• Find a local allergy professional on allergyfoundation.co.za It’s also the go-to resource for all food-allergy information, including recipes.  
• For advice on living with food allergies and school action plans, visit www.kidsallergy.co.za 

Words by: Silke Colquhoun.
Photograph: Pexels

The post Kids and food allergies: What to look out for appeared first on TFG Media.

Our little ones are always being exposed to the finer things of life, and they may feel entitled to some of them things. But it’s never too late for you to take hold of the reigns and raise kids who are selfless, grateful, emotionally sound and kind.

These days, children are exposed to streaming services, smartphones, takeaways and all the fun things modern society has to offer. And, yes, as busy parents, we often don’t think of the long-term effects – nor the resulting expectations – of using these luxuries as a way to get through the day.

I, for one, am guilty of this and quickly had to face reality when my kids would recommend ordering-in on a whim. I had to take stock of my own behaviour and what I was teaching my children: these were luxuries, not necessities.

I frantically sought out a book to help me along, stumbled upon Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World by Kristen Welch and took stock of a few helpful hints to add to my arsenal of getting my kiddies (or myself!) on the right track. Behaviours are learned, and when I read:

“And as uncomfortable as it sounds, parents who want less-entitled kids have to be less- entitled themselves, and parents who want to raise more grateful kids need to start by living more grateful lives” it truly hit home for me. So on my mission to spark gratitude within my kiddies, I tried changing and implementing a few things in their lives.

Give These A Try

Some of the over-arching themes in Archer’s book include:

• Be a parent, not a friend to kids: you can be their friend once they’re independent.
• Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ and accept the resulting fall-out: no matter how ugly it is.
• Stick to the rules you think are best for your kids, even if it makes you uncool: for example, holding off on giving them smartphones.
• It’s OK for kids to experience failure or unhappiness: sometimes the best way to help our kids is to not help them.
• Don’t let your home become centred around your children: “In a child-centred home, kids expect more of us and less of themselves.”

Set An Example

Kids learn a lot from watching their parents. Show them what it means to be grateful by offering a genuine ‘thank you’ to someone who does something for you. But don’t just stop there – thank your kids for doing something that is helpful. Involving them reinforces positive behaviour and lets them know they are appreciated by you.

Involving them reinforces POSITIVE BEHAVIOUR and lets them know they are appreciated by you

Have A Chat

For some children, especially when young, it helps to talk about how showing appreciation makes other people feel. Try asking your child how they feel when people say ‘thank you’ to them for doing something nice, and likewise when they do the opposite.

Analysing their own feelings will help them to understand how behaviour affects others and makes it easier for them to understand the emotional benefits of being grateful towards others.

Give Them Chores

As basic is it may seem, making sure your kids have chores to do around the house develops a sense of responsibility and purpose.

You could start them off with small things like packing away their toys, drying the dishes, sweeping the kitchen or vacuuming their rooms. Small steps to big results.

Put Things Into Perspective

Talk to your kids about those who are less fortunate. Don’t scare them, but don’t keep them in the dark either. Understanding that not everyone has the same privileges as they do will help them to develop compassion for others and gratitude for their own belongings.

You should allow gratitude to be part of their bed-time routine: when you put them to bed at night, ask them to list three things they’re grateful for. Even if they’ve had a bad day, it will help them – and you – to end the day on a positive note.

Allow Children To Contribute

Whether it’s saving up to pay half the price on a new gadget, buying their own bikes, or contributing to their own civvies money, giving our children the opportunity to work hard for what they desire will teach them to value what they have, and receive, a lot more.

The post 5 Ways to raise grateful kids in an entitled world appeared first on TFG Media.

Easily hide snacks from kids

Stashing junk food away from children can be hard as they seem to spot it from a mile away. The next time you stock up, store your snacks in a nondescript bag or box – such as a laundry detergent tub.

Make cleaning up a timed game

Getting kids to clean up their own mess can be exhausting. Why not gamify it by setting a timer on your phone and see how much they can do within the timeframe?

Establish a ‘family command centre’

Create a designated area in your home where you can keep important information, such as school timetables, letters, extramural activities, to-do lists and chores. This could be in the form of bulletin boards in a communal area like the kitchen.

Use toothpaste to clean permanent marker off wooden furniture

Have the kids been at it again? Don’t fret – you can easily remove permanent-marker scribbles from wooden furniture with solid white toothpaste (just make sure it’s not gel). Squeeze out a generous dollop and use a damp cloth to rub the toothpaste into the wood. If the marker doesn’t completely disappear after the first attempt, simply repeat the process.

@hometalk Permanent marker on your table? Try this genius cleaning trick! ✨ #CleanTok #HowTo #clean #hack #lifehack ♬ Break It Down – Chris Alan Lee

Get perfect baby-sized portions of baby food

Dedicate your Sunday to whipping up a batch of homemade baby food and spooning it into ice trays. After it has frozen, store in clean, airtight, freezer-safe containers.

Use vinegar to treat small burns

It sounds counterintuitive, but vinegar will ease pain and prevent blisters, thanks to the acetic acid present in it. Soak a paper towel in a little bit of vinegar and hold it against the burn until the skin cools down.

Put together a feeding-time activity bag

If you’re parenting more than one small child, things can get tricky. Toddlers often get jealous when the spotlight isn’t on them. Stock a bag with sticker books, colouring books, fun puzzles, modelling clay and finger puppets so they can be busy while you take a much-needed breather to feed your infant.

Use hairspray to remove temporary tattoos

No more scrubbing skin raw! To remove a temporary tattoo, simply spray the tattoo with hairspray before wiping it with a damp cloth. Then give your child’s skin a quick swipe of warm soapy water to take off any hairspray residue that’s still on their skin.

Use a rubber band on door locks

Prevent your kids from locking themselves in the bathroom by looping a rubber band around the door handle, over the lock and around the handle on the other side of the door.

@jazknight21 Mom hack with doors that don’t have an obvious key hole. Rubber band to the rescue! #momsoftiktok #momhacks101 #toddlersoftiktok #toddlermayhem #dontgetstuck #hetookmychips ♬ original sound

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Make waterproof boots from socks in a pinch

Stepping into puddles in winter can be irresistible for small kids, but dealing with soggy shoes can be a pain. To make a pair of waterproof ‘boots’, slip your child’s shoe into a sock, then use a glue gun to apply a thick coating of glue to the sole of the sock and the sides. Repeat with the other shoe.

The post Our top 5 parenting hacks that will make life easier appeared first on TFG Media.