Lynelle Kenned is way more than a typical triple threat. Not only can she sing and dance and act, she’s also a dynamic presenter both on and off the screen. The award-winning performer started her career as an opera singer, but soon landed leading roles in musicals such as West Side Story and The Sound of Music.

At ease both on stage and on set, Lynelle has been booked as a presenter for TV shows Pasella and 123 Fixit and been invited to MC some of the country’s top awards ceremonies. Somewhere in her busy schedule, she has also managed to fit in bookings for commercials and joined the cast of several films. We pinned her down for a few minutes to find out where she finds her drive…

What drew you to a career in the performing arts?

I grew up around music. When I was 17, I was a member of the South African Youth Choir, and was formally exposed to classical music. I saw what was possible on stage and realised that there were people who had been able to make it their career. I was immediately drawn to the idea. I enrolled in the UCT Opera School and qualified as a classical and opera singer. My career evolved quite organically after I graduated. I don’t limit myself to being an opera singer – I am a multidisciplinary performing artist.

How did your parents respond to your conviction to follow your dream?

I was fortunate that my parents recognised my natural talent for music. They nurtured that in me from a young age, signing me up for music lessons as soon as I started school. My folks knew that once I committed to something, no matter the field, I would do my best to make a success of it. They were also very mindful that I would be exposed to opportunities that their generation could not easily access. I have always had their full support, for which I am incredibly grateful.

You are master of many creative disciplines. How do you juggle them all?Do you have a favourite?

That’s difficult to answer! I thrive off the variety and creative stimulation of various disciplines. If I had to pick one, it would definitely be music. Of course there’s a thrill that comes from being in front of an audience. But there is also an immense sense of satisfaction in working at something over and over again in a rehearsal room and it suddenly comes together for the first time.

There are definitely plenty of challenges when it comes to moving between different disciplines without dropping the ball. I have been freelancing for 10 years, and it’s a skill I have refined over time. I’ve put in the hours required to establish a reputation. I consider myself lucky to be in demand as an artist. My challenge now is to learn how to say ‘no’. I’ve come close to burnout a few times. Balance is extremely important. I now have the help of two agents who help me manage my performance schedule, as well as my time off.

You have received many awards for your performances. What do they mean to you?

The work itself is extremely satisfying. Awards and accolades may seem like the cherry on top, but they are very subjective. You shouldn’t base your worth as an artist on those types of merits. Having said that, I felt extremely validated when I became an honorary recipient of the Kunste Onbeperk Young Voice award at the Klein Karoo National Festival in 2019.

That night my name was up there among the likes of Amanda Strydom, Athol Fugard and Lizz Meiring. The fact that the award recognised not just one production, but my entire body of work, reassured me that I had made the right choice in my career and that what I do brings meaning to people.

When I was growing up in Paarl, I got a lot of experience and mentorship through entering a local talent competition, The Global Talent Spotlight Search. In 2022, I was one of two honorees they recognised for representing the community. It was incredibly special to return to my roots and the community that played such a big role in shaping who I am and being recognised in that way.

Has it become easier to represent your community in the arts?

We’re living in a time where things are transforming quite quickly. These days casting is colour-blind and based on merit rather than a specific aesthetic brief. This has led to many more opportunities for equal representation.

When I started out 10 years ago, there were roles I knew I could execute vocally, but I wasn’t always given the opportunity to audition. In 2016, I was cast as Maria in a production of The Sound of Music at the Durban Playhouse Theatre. It was a special experience to be part of a multi-racial cast telling a timeless story about the importance of values.

What, for you, is a balanced life?

I am a bit of a workaholic, but I have realised that I want to create more space for rest, relaxation, pleasure, connection and travel. I want to just ‘be’. Last year, travelled to Turkey with a friend and taking time out was pure bliss.

As much as I love the extravagance of performance – the gowns, the make-up, the hair – deep down I’m just a farm girl with a small dose of ‘hippy’. Recently, I spent two weeks in Namibia, camping with my boyfriend. We knew we had a start and an end date, but everything in between was spontaneous. I want to do more of that!

Words by Christi Nortier

The post In The Spotlight: Lynelle Kenned appeared first on TFG Media.

Multitalented entrepreneur, Mpoomy Ledwaba has blown up on YouTube with her popular podcast series, Wisdom and Wellness. With refreshing honesty, Mpoomy tackles important topics around the challenges women face in their careers and relationships.

It’s hard to imagine Mpoomy Ledwaba ever sitting still for more than a minute. She bubbles over with the sort of infectious energy that makes you wonder if she was once struck by lightning.

I’m relieved that we only have time for one cup of coffee, before I fire up my laptop and start peppering her with questions in the gap we are forced to find while she has her make-up applied for this month’s cover shoot at a studio in Cape Town.

Hardly a hair over 5ft tall, Mpoomy is an award-winning entrepreneur who has single-handedly shaped her own success story as a business owner, social media influencer and a creator of important content as a podcaster on YouTube.

Mpoomy on growing up

She talks a mile a minute, as she recaps her childhood, growing up in Middleburg, Mpumalanga, one of five siblings in a close-knit family. ‘My mom was a teacher and came from a family of educators. My dad grew up poor and worked hard to support his family,’ she recalls.

‘My parents celebrated our individual gifts, but treated us all as equals, encouraging us to explore whatever we chose to do in life.’ Sporty at school, Mpoomy excelled at hockey and netball, making the provincial team for the latter. ‘At one point, I thought I might pursue professionally, but I didn’t have the height,’ she acknowledges with a smile.

A vocal member of her local church, Mpoomy joined the choir and put her hand up to volunteer as an MC for events hosted in her community. ‘That’s not only how I started to find my voice, but also when I first realised that what I had to say could make a difference.’

After matriculating in 2012, Mpoomy enrolled to study a B Comm at the University of Johannesburg. ‘I knew nothing about being creative. I was good with numbers, and I knew accountants made money,’ she recounts. ‘I wanted to make money.’

In her third year she was invited to join a CSI initiative run by Investec. ‘It was my first experience in a corporate environment. I knew at once it wasn’t for me, but I held out for a year before I bailed,’ admits Mpoomy. She dropped out of varsity the same year, without a concrete plan regarding what she would do next.

‘I definitely wouldn’t advise it!’ she laughs. ‘Don’t drop out of school!’ As a student, Mpoomy had earned extra money doing promotional work at trade shows and comedy clubs. Her outgoing personality had made her a popular pick with agencies, and she was easily able get back on their roster.

Starting her own business

When I tease her by saying: ‘So, basically, you handed out flyers?’ she is quick to respond. ‘Yes, but the good ones!’ Keeping her eyes open for an opportunity, she came across an ad article that outlined 10 businesses you could start without capital.

‘My dad owned a small cleaning business when I was growing up. When I was 12 years old, I got a job as his tea lady. He paid me R100 a month,’ recalls Mpoomy. Aged 20, with practically zero experience, Mpoomy decided to launch her own domestic cleaning service.

‘I was totally winging it,’ she is quick to share, chuckling a little as she admits that she put a pamphlet together to advertise her new venture. Engaged in a spirited argument at a local supermarket with her then boyfriend (now husband) SAMA nominated house singer and producer Brenden Praise, the couple were approached by an elderly couple who admired their passion to make themselves heard.

‘They invited us to join a WhatsApp group of more than 100 people who were vocal about navigating the challenges of being in a committed relationship.’ Recognising an opportunity to market her fledgling business, Mpoomy asked for permission to distribute her flyer to the group.

‘It paid off. I got a great response, and secured enough regular bookings to get my business off the ground.’ A few months later over December, right after she had signed on a new client for a huge spring cleaning job, her staff quit without notice. ‘I panicked, and tried to do the job on my own. It didn’t end well. The client wasn’t happy,’ admits Mpoomy. ‘It was a hard life lesson, but it made me realise that I wasn’t passionate about what I was doing.’

A change of direction

Taking time out to lick her wounds, Mpoomy got married. ‘It happened pretty fast. We got lobola’d in the morning, and in the evening, we had a small celebration with family and a just a few close friends. Unsure where to go next, Mpoomy and Brenden were determined to hash out a plan.

‘I started applying for jobs, but I didn’t have enough relevant experience,’ she explains. She had a car, but couldn’t afford petrol. ‘You’re not going to believe it,’ she says as she straightens up a little in her chair, ready to recount what happened next. ‘I found a flyer!’

This particular ad invited interested parties to complete a six-month diploma to qualify as a nail technician, promising earnings of R10 000 on completion. ‘Flyers saved my life,’ laughs Mpoomy, who took a gamble and signed up for the course. Armed with a new skill set, Mpoomy put the tools she had to work.

‘I had a car and I could provide a service,’ she explains, struggling to supress the smile that tugs at the corner of her lips as she tells me she created another flyer, this time advertising that she did house calls. ‘I called it Nails on Wheels.

My dad branded my little Hyundai and I hit the road,’ shares Mpoomy. ‘I may not have been the best at doing nails, but I was great at communicating and making a connection with my clients.

At first, even though their nails broke, they still called me back!’ She got better at it. ‘It was a sharp learning curve, so it wasn’t long before I had gained the experience I needed. In my first month, I earned R10 000,’ says Mpoomy.

Encouraged by her success, it wasn’t long before she found a space to launch a full-service salon in Melville. ‘I invited people who had started following me on Instagram to the opening day. The first hour, no one came. But all of a sudden there was an influx of people, who turned into a regular customer base.’

Over the next couple of years, as Mpoomy’s following on social media began to grow, she began to host a series of curated boutique events intended to create a space for women to share their thoughts in a safe setting.

The power of YouTube

Observing the success of the turnout to these talks, Brenden suggested she should consider tapping into a wider audience by starting a channel on YouTube. ‘Why?’ asked Mpoomy, who at that point did not identify with that medium. ‘Because you have a lot to say,’ replied Brenden. Mpoomy agreed.

‘I would come up with content, but Brenden had to do the technical stuff.’ They got set up, and Mpoomy recorded her first interview. ‘The day we went live, we got 1 000 subscribers.’ The posts gained traction, and as Mpoomy’s following grew, important global brands came knocking.

‘Clients trusted me as an ambassador for their brand,’ says Mpoomy, who began to curate content for the likes of Clarins and Colgate. Discovering she was pregnant in 2018 did little to slow Mpoomy down. She continued to attend events, ignoring the changes that were taking a toll on her body.

‘I ran myself ragged and it became impossible to set aside the physical limitations that were part and parcel of my pregnancy. My skin broke out, my boobs began to sag. My feet grew so much that I went from wearing a size 4 to a size 8 shoe!’ groans Mpoomy.

‘I couldn’t handle it. Even though I was happy about the baby coming, I now know I was experiencing peri-partum depression,’ she shares. ‘I stopped going to work, I didn’t want to go out. I told Brenden I wanted to sell the salon and be a housewife.

The changes were so drastic, I didn’t know how to deal.’ Despite growing her salon into a bigger space and dabbling in the development of body care products, after the birth of her daughter in 2019, Mpoomy admits that she began to lose herself.

The global pandemic that led to lockdown a few months later seriously affected her finances. ‘Trying to keep my staff on salary at the salon while our doors were closed got the salon into serious debt,’ says Mpoomy, who felt under pressure to provide for her own family during those difficult times, but also for the employees who relied on her for income.

Focusing on her wellness

Prepared to acknowledge that she needed help to find her mojo again, Mpoomy reached out to a therapist. ‘Looking back on that time, I’m so grateful that she took a holistic approach. I was never medicated.’

During one of their first sessions, Mpoomy’s therapist presented her with a challenge. ‘I want you to do something that you consider outside of your reach,’ relates Mpoomy. ‘I went home, and forced myself to think about what that would mean for me.’

Tired of hearing herself complain, Mpoomy realised that her dialogue was negative. She decided to put pen to paper and write down 10 things she was grateful for. ‘My list included things like the fact that I was being kinder to myself, that I had cut out junk food, that I was exercising.

I think I stopped at 5, and I posted it with the hashtag #speaklifeseptember on 1 September. It trended on Twitter, reaching the number one slot.’ It was exactly the shove that Mpoomy needed to remind her that she could put a positive spin on any of life’s hurdles. ‘The response I received from people made a huge impression.

There was no way I was going to quit.’ On the first of October, she put out a new hashtag: #doitoctober. Then, a month later, #irunnovember, setting herself and anyone willing to join her a target of running 100km that month. ‘Around the same time, I was completing a major revamp of my salon,’ recalls Mpoomy.

‘The builder was way behind schedule, but ignoring all the signs of an impending disaster, I booked a date for the unveiling of the new space, convinced things would fall into place.’ It was a total shit show.

‘My parents drove all the way from Middleburg, celebrity guests started arriving… the space was a mess,’ recalls Mpoomy. ‘I broke down and cried.’ The day after the fiasco, she received a parcel from Sibu Mabena, founder of the Duma Collective, an agency specialising in social networking and brand management.

‘It was a book entitled The 5am Club by Robyn Sharma,’ says Mpoomy. ‘And it changed my life.’ Sharma’s best-selling book is a work of fiction, but the key concept it promotes is very real.

‘You wake up an hour before your spouse and kids, and use that time, free of distractions, to focus on your personal wellbeing through a combination of exercise, meditation and reading,’ explains Mpoomy, who is convinced that adopting this habit helped her restore her focus.

‘The routine fuels my mind and body for the day. Not only have I become much more productive, I’m also able to navigate challenges with a reassuring sense of calm.’

Mpoomy became the book’s unofficial ambassador. ‘I shared the insights I gained on my socials and soon someone suggested that I start a book club.’ Passionate not only about the title’s content but also about encouraging women to read, Mpoomy took up the challenge and hosted her first live event to promote The 5am Club.

The event sold out, and firmly established the business as a platform for raising awareness around mental health. ‘The pandemic had a major impact on our ability to cope with life’s hurdles,’ says Mpoomy who is committed to helping others find the tools that they need to heal.

‘It’s a journey. Nothing happens by chance. Discipline is the key to success.’ Today Wisdom and Wellness reaches more than 250 000 viewers on YouTube and has translated into over half a million followers on Instagram. ‘Our content is centred on five key pillars: spiritual wellness, mental and emotional wellness, relational wellbeing, physical wellness and financial wellness,’ explains Mpoomy.

We’ve talked for several hours now and she’s barely paused to catch her breath. I glance at my phone to check the time, reluctant to remind her that we’ve got to wrap things up so she can make it to the airport on time. I drive her there myself and she continues to chat away easily, as if we’re already old friends.

I call her up the next morning and catch her while she’s stuck in traffic. I’ve got one last question: how the hell does she do it all? ‘One step at a time,’ she laughs. Without further prompting, she shares the simple yet powerful phrase that has become her motto: There is Grace for Today. ‘When I start to feel too excited or overwhelmed, I remind myself to focus on the moment.’

MPOOMY IN A FLASH

MR & MRS

Mpoomy and Brenden often MC at events together. ‘We got all glammed up that day to do a wedding. Not ours!’

FAMILY IS EVERYTHING

Brendan, pictured here with daughter Nuri Lethabo and son Zani Lehumo. ‘We make time for each other, and for our kids.’

QUICK QUESTIONS

What are you reading right now?

The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama and A Visible Man by Edward Enninful.

What has marriage and motherhood taught you?

A lot of self-reflection… about the good, and the not so good.

How do you define success?

Peace and contentment.

You’re hosting a dinner, you can invite 3 people, dead or alive… who’s on your guest list? Oprah, Steven Furtick, Issa Rae.

POSTER GIRL

Mpoomy has become a trusted brand ambassador for important global clients such as Clarins and Colgate.

COMING UP…

Want to see Mpoomy in action?

Book tickets now for the Wisdom and Wellness Unlimited Festival on the 4th of March in Johannesburg. ‘We will be bringing together a host of inspiring speakers and performers.’

Photography: Getty Images

The post Getting To Know The It Girl Mpoomy Ledwaba appeared first on TFG Media.

Ever since it caught on in the noughties, the expression ‘me time’ always made me cringe a little. It smacked of self-indulgence, a manic preoccupation with regular pedicures, as well as a new generation that seemed to favour well-being over getting what needs doing, done.

Convinced this sort of sentiment did not align with multitasking, never-say-no types such as myself, it’s perhaps not surprising that I hit a wall, circa 2020.

After simmering in a spicy stew of stress and a back-breaking workload for several years, I experienced total burnout, and was forced to face the mortifying realisation that I was subject to the same human frailties as everyone else.

The Importance of Prioritising Self-Care

The thing is — if we don’t prioritise our ‘self-care’ (me-time’s cousin), chances are good that life will do it for us, via a rift in a relationship, illness, a professional disaster, or some other form of ‘nervy-B’, as one of my delightfully sarcastic friends likes to refer to a nervous breakdown.

That’s if we’re lucky. If not, the best we can hope for is to stagger through life a frazzled, sweaty, resentful hot mess, wondering where the time, and our happiness, went.

‘Many people, especially women, battle to put themselves first because they have been taught not to,’ says Johannesburg-based life and career coach Penny Holburn. ‘We have been taught to believe that we are not nice or good people if we stop to think about ourselves.

The problem is that if we don’t, we are not usually nice to be around, anyway,’ she points out. ‘You cannot give from an empty cup. You cannot perform good work if your brain is frazzled. You are not a good role model for your children if you never take care of yourself.

It’s only when you learn to take care of yourself, that you become able to give of your best to those around you.’ Penny teaches a practical course in time management. Here’s her advice on how to take back control of your time:

Set Boundaries

Those of us prone to feeling overwhelmed (and who would rather stick forks into our kneecaps than say ‘no’) may need to work on our boundaries. Penny suggests three ways to improve:

‘Building time specifically for self-care into your diary is the simplest way to make sure you actually do it’

1. Observe someone you know who is better at saying ‘no’. Learn from them.
2. Practice setting boundaries with people you know well, first. They are likely to be more receptive to your new resolve.
3. Book a few sessions with a life coach or therapist who can offer guidance about how you can set and maintain boundaries.

Time Magic

You have to admit, ‘time magic’ sounds a lot better than time management (yuk). And yet good time management is a discipline that can — hey presto! — magically add extra hours to your day.

Hours you could spend bubble-bathing, reading, studying, hugging a tree, working out, napping, socialising, or whatever fits your definition when it comes to self-care. ‘Most people who are successful in life have good time management skills,’ says Penny. ‘You get ahead if you are able to do more.

However, there comes a point at which doing more becomes self-sabotage, and your performance starts to deteriorate. It’s a fine line, but with practice, it’s one you can walk. When you learn to manage your time well, you become able to let go of what you just cannot fit in.’

Pull Rank

As in, rank your goals. ‘In my course, I teach clients how to understand their goals for the year, the month, the week, or even the day,’ says Penny.

A good place to start is to write down what you want to achieve for the day. ‘Assign each goal a number, from 1 (your top priority) onwards,’ she advises. ‘Next, list all the tasks that will help you reach your goals, and rank those in the same way.

Then ask yourself: can I delegate? Can I dump any?’ Be ruthless. ‘If you can, do,’ encourages Penny. ‘This will help you focus on the more important tasks that only you can do.’

Book Time

Building time specifically for self-care into your diary is the simplest way to make sure you actually do it. ‘I advise clients to put it in their diaries as an appointment with themselves,’ says Penny, who explains that it’s essential to make ‘time out’ an important activity.

‘You must know why it is important; otherwise, when the demands begin to pile up, self-care goes out the window.’ Start with small changes to your daily routine, and build from there. ‘All of these skills take practice,’ says Penny. ‘But you can — and will — get better at them.’

The post How To Prioritise Self-Care appeared first on TFG Media.

For many of us, rejoining our social circles after the isolation of a harsh lockdown is proving tricky. Ever find yourself wanting to reach out to a friend you’ve lost touch with, not knowing quite how? Robyn MacLarty shares specialist insights to help you make the call.  

As many of us are discovering, there isn’t a single sphere of life that hasn’t been permanently altered in some way by the events of the past few years (no prizes for guessing which events I’m referring to).
Our health, our finances, the way we work, our relationships with our partners, family and friends, have all been affected. 

Throughout lockdown and its varying curfews, we all learnt that the calibre of 
our lives is determined by the quality of
the relationships we form. Yet even with this newly heightened awareness, we’ve been slow to recognise the extent of the impact on even our most treasured friendships.  

While some welcomed the excuse to stay home and eschew social engagements, others were traumatised by the loss of friendships, which in some instances shifted and even disappeared in the chaos of the years-long pandemic.  

 ‘I used to thrive on interacting with people,’ says Tanya, 32. ‘Post-Covid, I am dismayed to realise that I have become somewhat of a willing recluse, frequently finding an excuse to avoid social events. While I am thankfully still close to my two besties, I’ve lost touch with many of my ‘old’ friends and have had a serious falling out with two of them, which was very painful. I felt guilty about not picking up the phone to try and repair the rift. But they haven’t reached out to me, either. So, I wonder: why is it up
 to me? And then I do nothing.’  

Unlike romantic and familial relationships — for which therapy is a widely accepted support — we mostly expect our friendships to function on their own, without professional intervention. But this may be changing. Increasingly, life coaches and psychologists are being consulted to help work out difficulties between friends. In the US and
the UK, ‘friendship therapy’ is being added
to the services of mental health professionals.  

‘There’s a safety with friends that’s hard to find anywhere else,’ says Leah Sefor, relationship coach and author of ‘That’s Not What I Mean: The Smart, Savvy Guide to Real Communication’.  

‘Your friends have often been there long before any romantic partner entered your life. They know the journey that has shaped you. Their support and grounding is often what gives you the confidence to shine in all areas of life.’  

It’s important to put any guilt or resentment you may be feeling about neglecting — or being neglected by — particular friends into context, advises Sefor.  

‘Trauma, loss and grief has left people depleted. For many, finding the initiative to engage with others and be fully present requires energy they simply don’t have.
 For over two years we’ve trained ourselves to believe that “home” was safe, and “out there” wasn’t. This has caused our nervous systems to be stuck in a constant state
 of fight-or-flight, which leaves us feeling exhausted and unable to muster any motivation to get out there and reconnect.’  

An important step, says Sefor, is to decide whether you want to repair the friendship or let it go. ‘Understand that you don’t have the same emotional bandwidth you had before the pandemic. Conversations and social interactions need to be shorter so that they feel more manageable. Focus on friends that understand this and respect your emotional and psychological boundaries.’  

If you decide that an ebbing friendship is worth reviving, pick up the phone

If you decide that an ebbing friendship
 is worth reviving, pick up the phone. ‘Stop running through worst-case scenarios in your head. Calling someone or meeting face-to-face after a long silence can feel confrontational; it might be easier to send a text or an email,’ notes Sefor.  

 Often the friend will be open to connecting again. ‘Talk about why you’re reaching out, own up to anything you may have done
 to create the rift, and apologise,’ she advises. ‘Explain why their friendship is important to you and suggest meeting up for a coffee or lunch so that you can talk about everything and start afresh.  

‘If they’re not willing to see you, give them the space they need until they’re ready to reach out,’ says Sefor. ‘At least you’ll know that you did your part.’  

Also read: How To Deal With Friendship Problems

Illustration: Shutterstock

The post How To Connect With Friends Who’ve Gone Quiet appeared first on TFG Media.

As immigrants with Asian heritage who both moved to Australia as kids, friends Rosheen Kaul and Joanna Hu have formed their identities through food. ‘Chinese-ish’ is their home cooked, not quite authentic but 100% delicious love letter to their identities.  

‘Slurpy-crispy-spicy perfection’, that’s how friends Rosheen Kaul and Joanna Hu describe dan dan mian, their beloved childhood dish of wheat noodles lathered with sesame paste and topped with crunchy pork mince. With a description like that, who wouldn’t want to try their hand at recreating this dish, too?  

In an ideal world, we would
all have a pantry filled to the brim with the spices, condiments and essential veggies, meats and starches that form the base of the kaleidoscope of Asian dishes that have grown in popularity across the world.  

Alas, that is not the case for everyone. For a cheat’s version inspired by dan dan mian, try this recipe created by Balanced Life and you, too, can enjoy the essence of this dish.   

Homemade chilli crisp

Serves 2
 

This simple sprinkle delivers
on fragrance, heat and texture! Add to stir-fries, noodles, dumplings and dipping sauces or even sandwiches for a bit of heat and extra crunch.  

Ingredients

2 cups canola oil
 

1 packet of shallots or spring onions, thinly sliced
 

2 garlic bulbs, peeled and thinly sliced
 

Knob of fresh ginger, cut into match sticks 8cm long
 

1 cinnamon stick
 

6 star anise
 

4 cardamom pods
 

1 bay leaf
 

1⁄2 cup chilli flakes  

2 tbsp Szechuan or mixed peppercorns, crushed
 

1 tsp ground cumin
 

2 tbsp soya sauce  

2 tbsp honey or sugar
 

1 tbsp miso paste (optional)  

1⁄2 cup roasted peanuts  

Method

1. Place all the oil in a pot over medium heat.

2. Fry the shallots, or spring onions, in batches for about 8 minutes or until golden and crispy. Drain on kitchen paper. 
3. Using the same oil, fry the garlic for 3-4 minutes. Drain on kitchen paper. 
4. Add the ginger to the oil and fry for about 5 minutes, and drain. 
5. Carefully strain the oil to remove any burnt pieces
and return the oil to the pot.
6. Add the cinnamon, star anise, cardamom, and bay leaf to the pot of oil. Allow to infuse over low heat for at least 5 minutes. 
6. Remove the spices with a slotted spoon.

7. Turn up the stove’s heat
until the oil reaches 180°C (use
a thermometer) and keep it at that temperature for about
5 minutes to ensure even heat.

8. Combine the chilli flakes, peppercorns, cumin, soya sauce, miso paste (if using) and peanuts in a large 2L heat-proof bowl.

9. Pour the hot oil over the peanut mixture. Work slowly
to avoid splattering as the mixture will bubble up slightly. 
10. Stir in the crispy shallots, ginger and garlic.

11. Allow to cool completely before transferring into a jar. Store in the fridge for up to
three months. 

Food tip  

You can find ya cai (Szechuan pickled vegetable) and Szechuan chilli powder at most Asian grocers.  

Cheat’s egg custard tart

Makes 12  

‘My cooking revolves around my inherent impatience (read: laziness). When I am hit with
a craving for something specific, I want it as soon as possible.  

That being said, my little hacks and shortcuts come from a good place, and I wouldn’t make any adjustments that resulted in
a sub-par recipe. I have some pride, after all.  

The humble custard tart makes appearances in many different cultures, most famously as the Portuguese pastel de nata.
The egg custard tart made
its way to Hong Kong from
the nearby Portuguese colony of Macao and the Cantonese transformed it by adding more egg yolks and decreasing the sugar and dairy. The result is a delicate, eggy custard with only a gentle sweetness, encased in a flaky tart shell. Traditional Chinese puff pastry is incredibly difficult to make. Using ready- made shortcrust pastry is foolproof and puts a still-warm, freshly baked egg custard tart in easy reach of everyone.’ — Rosheen Kaul  

Ingredients

For the custard 

75 g caster sugar

150 ml hot water

2 eggs

60 ml condensed milk

1⁄2 tsp vanilla extract   

For the pastry

Vegetable oil, for brushing

2 sheets shortcrust pastry

Method

For the custard

1. Dissolve the sugar in the hot water in a saucepan over low heat, stirring to make a syrup.

2. In a bowl, whisk the eggs, condensed milk and vanilla essence together to combine. 
3. While whisking continuously, slowly pour the sugar syrup into the egg mixture. 
4. Strain into a jug and allow to stand until the air bubbles dissipate. Set aside. 

For the pastry

1. Preheat the oven to 200°C.

2. Lightly brush a 12-hole muffin tin or 12 fluted individual tart tins with oil. Cut the pastry sheets into 12 even squares and press them into the greased tins, trimming off any excess. Chill
in the fridge for 15–20 minutes.

3. Line the pastry shells with baking paper and fill with pastry weights or uncooked rice.

4. Blind-bake for 10 minutes, then carefully remove the paper and weights and bake for another 3–4 minutes, until golden. Set aside to cool. 

To assemble

1. Reduce the oven temperature to 140°C and divide the custard equally between the shells.

2. Bake the tarts on the lowest shelf of your oven for 20–25 minutes, until the filling is just set. 
3. Remove from the oven and allow to rest for about 15 minutes. 
4. Enjoy the tarts while still warm. 

Food tip  

Pasteis de nata are traditionally served with a dusting of cinnamon. If you’re a fan of the spice, try a sprinkle on these tarts, too.  

Crisp cereal butter prawns

Serves 4  

‘If you associate the word “cereal” with Weet-Bix, Nutri-Grain or Froot Loops, then cereal butter prawns might sound like a pretty horrid concept. In reality, this crunchy, buttery, aromatic savoury dish is another Singaporean food stall favourite.  

To achieve the crunchy coating, it’s customary to use Nestum (a coarsely milled mixed-grain cereal) tossed through butter that has been spiked with bird’s eye chillies and aromatic curry leaves. It’s nice to stick to the original method by keeping the shells on the prawns, as these impart a much deeper flavour. However, you’re welcome to peel the prawns before cooking, if you like — just be wary of overcooking them. — Rosheen Kaul  

Ingredients

500 g raw prawns or shrimp

1 tsp salt

1 tsp caster sugar

1 egg, whisked

2 tbsp plain all-purpose flour

2 tbsp cornflour

Vegetable oil, for shallow frying, plus 1 tablespoon extra

1 tbsp milk powder

1 tbsp chicken stock powder

105 g Nestum cereal or quick oats

30 g butter

15 curry leaves

2 bird’s eye chillies, sliced

 Method

1. Use a pair of sharp kitchen scissors to trim the legs and feelers off the prawns.

2. Place the prawns in a bowl and season with the salt and caster sugar. 
3. Pour the whisked egg
over the top and toss to coat. 
4. Sift the flour and cornflour together over the prawns and stir to combine. 
5. In a wok, heat enough oil
to shallow-fry the prawns.

6. Fry the prawns in batches until crispy, then set aside to drain on a wire rack.

7. Mix the milk powder, chicken stock and Nestum or oats in
a bowl to combine.

8. Heat the extra oil and the butter in a frying pan over medium heat.

9. Add the curry leaves and
chilli, frying until fragrant.

10. Add the Nestum or oats mixture and toast, continuously stirring, until golden.
11. Add the prawns and toss
to coat evenly.

11. They are best served hot. 

 Stirring the melting pot

The first pages of ‘Chinese-ish’ were written during the early weeks
of the pandemic. Chef Rosheen Kaul began taking note of all the ‘inauthentic’ Asian recipes she loved to eat and asked her friend Joanna Hu to illustrate them.   

The friends explain that they both spent their formative years living between a few cultures and wondering where they fitted in.  For them, food was
a huge part of this journey. They asked themselves: should they cling to the traditional comfort of their parents’ varied culinary heritage, attempt to assimilate wholly by learning to love shepherd’s pie, or forge a new path where flavour and the freedom to choose trumped authenticity? They chose option three.  

This book really is ‘not quite authentic’, 100% delicious home cooking. They offer up tips, advice and a lot of heart.  

Chinese-ish (R505) Murdoch Books 

The post Traditional Asian Recipes With A Modern Twist  appeared first on TFG Media.

1. The logo

Most experts agree that the logo is usually the first thing that is ‘off’ with a fake. The logo should not be skewed or misspelled (LW instead of LV, for example), the spacing should be consistent and it should not look out of focus. 

2. The craftmanship

Designer items are meticulously created and produced. Anything with unfinished trims (threads hanging loose), skew labels, buttons that don’t line up, bad stitching and the like is a no-go.  

3. The fabric

Designer items are pricey for a good reason: their materials are the real deal. A faux leather clutch sporting the iconic Chanel ‘Cs’ or a polyester shirt that claims to be Calvin Klein is a dead giveaway. Always touch, feel, and smell your items before purchasing – you’ll be able to tell the difference. 

4. The details

Zips, buttons, bag straps, clasps – all the finer details are also a good clue. If you know your Bottega from your budget-buy, you’ll be able to identify a cheap zip versus an expensive one, for example.

5. The seller

It should go without saying, but all designer, real-deal items should be purchased from reputable retailers. However, it’s tricky to tell what’s genuine when repurchasing from sellers on the internet or picking up items from vintage stores. Always do your homework, Google the seller’s or outlet’s name, see if any bad reviews exist and trust your gut.  

6. The price

This should be an obvious one, right? But if you’re getting a Louis Vuitton Speedy for R2 000, something is off. It’s not a bargain, darling – you’re being punked. Having said that, some fakesters can also up their prices to seem legit. In this case, insist on the product coming in its original casing/packaging/dust cover/glasses case and so on – big spenders do not toss out the ‘add-ons’ that come with their purchases. 

Words: Lynette Botha 

Photography: Pexels

The post 6 Ways to Spot Fake Fashion appeared first on TFG Media.

Money matters are one of the leading causes of relationship stress, which is why according to personal finance expert Snigda Kumar, joint financial planning is one of the most important things you can do as a couple.

Follow these tips on how to tackle this awkward conversation about the past and the future of your finances.

Make a money-date

Springing such a heavy topic on your partner as he walks through the door after work or sitting in traffic is likely to lead to an unproductive conversation. Schedule ‘the talk’ for a date that suits both of you. That way you’ll have time to prepare and make a list of what you want to say. Keep your communication positive and avoid the blame-game at all costs – you are in this together. You can even make it cute and call it a ‘money date’.

Don’t fib about your finances

In a partnership, it’s critical to be aware of the other person’s financial views. Have an open conversation about both of your spending habits: Are you good at saving? Does your partner live paycheck-to-paycheck? And although your day-to-today money management may differ, you should be on the same page about bigger financial goals. Be honest and be careful not to judge and shame each other in the process. Openly tackle topics like your current balances, debts and your future goals. These will become easier as you talk about it more frequently.

Learn about finances together

It is very overwhelming to talk about finances if you are not money-savvy. If you are more money-literate than your partner, be patient and guide him so that you can grow together. Use the resources at your bank, investment firms and consult with financial planners. Learning about money can only empower you to make wiser financial decisions that will benefit both of you in the long run.

Set up a plan of action

Now that you’ve got all the nitty gritty out of the way, talk about the road ahead. Set up a plan of how to manage your finances further. Are you planning to merge your finances? Who will contribute to what in the household? You may pay for medical aid, but your partner covers the rent. Make sure you are level-headed when having these conversations and reach a compromise that works for both of you. Makes notes of the things that you discuss and the conclusions that you reach so that you can refer back to them should a difference of opinion arise.

Words: Gaynor Siljeur

Photography: Shutterstock

The post How To Have ‘The Talk’ About Money appeared first on TFG Media.

We’ve all been there: you’re only two days in, and already your children are showing signs of mutiny.

Only this isn’t a hostile takeover: it mostly consists of the younger one leaning against your ‘office’ (spare bedroom/storage dump) and huffing audibly every minute or so (small, seemingly benign exhalations, cumulatively not unakin to Chinese water torture) while the older one clangs dishes in the kitchen, which — due to extra-sensory powers developed over many moons of motherhood — you know is meant to convey ‘I’m hungry, so I’m going to bang things around in a huff until mom makes me a sandwich, rather than disturb her to ask for one, which she explicitly forbade’. It’s subtle, but unrelenting, pressure.

For many parents, the WFH arrangement has been a help amidst the turmoil of the Covid pandemic, especially after kids were (hallelujah!) allowed to return to school.

Yet — much like Winter in Game of Thrones — the Holidays are Coming, and you may find a knot forming in your stomach at the prospect of juggling the wants of a demanding boss with the needs of a clamouring band of offspring. How can you keep your wildlings occupied, and quiet, long enough to get some work done — without resorting to excessive screen time, bribery, or temper tantrums? Read on…

WHY DO KIDS GET BORED?

Gen Z and earlier millennials are one of the last generations to have grown up without the internet or screens or smart devices or social media filtering every nook and cranny of existence. And while some experts suggest that boredom is a sign that your child is under-stimulated, others would argue it is a sign that they may be passively overstimulated.

It makes complete sense that, upon having the structure of school timetables, homework and extracurricular activities removed, not to mention the rationing of screen time (more on that later), this sudden loss of externally exerted stimulus can come as a shock. Now here is the thing: they need it.

‘Kids often complain about being bored. But boredom can actually help them develop skills, creativity and self-esteem,’ says the Child Mind Institute. ‘Both little kids and older ones often need some help coming up with things to do with unstructured time. But once you’ve got them going, they can take the boredom ball and run with it.’ Kids who get bored have to learn to think for themselves and engage on their own — these are critical life skills.

PROVIDE THEM WITH CHOICES

So, does this mean you should just leave your kids to stare at their shoes for a few days? Not necessarily. Educational psychologist Megan Naude recommends always giving your child a choice between activities (two or three) to encourage them to engage in meaningful play. ‘For example, ask them if they want to play a game outside for 30 minutes or do a craft activity. Stimulating activities can be alternated with more relaxing activities such as having a nap or watching a movie, so that their regulation levels remain balanced.’

Giving kids a choice between two things also helps to give them a sense of control, rather than feeling like they have to do something because you said so.

‘KIDS OFTEN COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING BORED. BUT BOREDOM CAN ACTUALLY HELP THEM…’

STAY CALM

When conflict arises, as it inevitably will, try — yes, the struggle is real — to stay as calm as you can. ‘We call this model a “low arousal approach”, where focus is on the adult remaining as calm as possible when a child’s arousal levels increase and they start to become anxious or dysregulated,’ explains Naude.

Remember that children often look to adults as models when teaching themselves how they should regulate their emotions. Give them practical strategies and examples of what they can do when they start feeling frustrated, angry or anxious, such as taking five deep breaths, or kicking a ball outside for five minutes to release the tension.

NEGOTIATE THEIR SCREEN TIME

This is a difficult topic to prescribe, says Naude, as families and individuals often have very different routines and habits with regards to screen time.

She offers the following guidelines:
• For young children, balance screen time with toy play, gross motor play, fine motor play and quiet time activities.
• Have a few established rules around screen time, such as no screens during meals, turning screens off after a show is over or no screen time after 7pm.
• Avoid using screens as part of bedtime routines. Reading books together before bed is more conducive to a good night’s sleep than the over-stimulation of a lit-up screen.
• Avoid letting your child become dependent on your phone or tablet as the primary source of entertainment.

DON’T PLAN FOR EACH MINUTE

Finally, remember that you don’t have to keep children busy every minute of the day, says Naude. ‘Allow opportunities for resting, playing and connecting with you. Parents tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves to ensure they keep their children busy, yet just being present or allowing them the opportunity to play and rest is just as important.’

BOREDOM ISN’T BAD

‘Boredom is the source of true creativity,’ according to parenting expert, Nikki Bush. ‘Kids need to learn how to make fun out of nothing. This is called resourcefulness. I love watching children make creations out of waste like a marble run out of cardboard boxes and tubes from toilet rolls and tin foil, or playing ‘cricket’ with a stick, an empty coke bottle and two traffic cones while waiting for an older sibling to finish school, or creating a fort with a garden umbrella, blankets and branches pruned from the garden.’ According to Nikki, this is creativity and problem solving in action. Thinking made visible without following someone else’s instructions. ‘Next time your kids ask what they should do because they are bored, say: “I don’t know, what do you think?”, instead of entertaining them. It’s amazing what kids will come up with if they have to!

Nikki Bush is a Human Potential and Parenting Expert. She is a published author and gives talks on parenting around the country. Find out more at www.nikkibush.com.

Words by Robyn MacLarty

Photography: Adobe Stock

The post How To Overcome School Holiday Boredom appeared first on TFG Media.

A scenario

Talking about the ins and outs of an office romance, Tracy created the scenario of two colleagues, Lesiba and Amy, working at a large corporate company. Like many teammates, they face a deadline requiring late nights and long hours together, and soon realise they’ve developed feelings for each other.

After trying to suppress these feelings, they decide to accept them. What now? What will the effects be on their careers? What are the dos and don’ts?

The love triangle with HR

Upon reading Tracy’s scenario about our star-crossed lovers, the first step was to figure out where the relationship stood in terms of the company’s office relationship policies. Many companies have hard and fast rules about dating co-workers, where you may need to inform managers and other co-workers or follow certain guidelines.

Should a company allow romantic relationships, you may need to avoid any PDA at work, but you’ll also avoid judgement from co-workers or being reported to management. The first thing to do, however, is to ask yourself if the relationship is worth it. Are you both tired and frustrated over the same work things, or do you genuinely have a connection? Is it attraction, or do you deeply feel drawn to the other person?

See you at how

If an argument occurs in your personal life, this will ultimately affect your professional relationship – unless you are some kind of Jekyll and Hyde. Ensure that you put boundaries in place to stop your personal issues from overflowing into your work life – keep the professionalism and decorum that is needed at the office.

Try to avoid spending too much time as a unit at work: sitting next to each other in meetings, having lunch together, and do not use work email or chat platforms to send personal messages.

Keep the spark alive

The anxieties are high, and while you’re holding hands you may start feeling a feverish sweat creep up as you see an approaching colleague. But don’t let your racing mind dull your racing heart.

Tracy gives the following advice: Agree to have a date night once a week with the rule that work-related conversation topics are off the table. Turn off your phones and dedicate the time to just being together in a space where there is no pressure on being together. And if all else fails and the relationship is too affected by work, see a therapist.

Because we’re often friends with the person we are seeing as well as being lovers, it may seem odd to avoid spending time with that person at work. If you are in the same work-friend circle, use that to your advantage to hang out and still see each other without having to be sneaky.

The right time

While dating your co-worker may be thrilling, dating someone in a higher or lower position is a little risky. ‘Avoid subordinate relationships as the power imbalance could overflow into the personal relationship,’ says Tracy.

And when you think about most romcom office-based storylines, the intern having a fling with the CEO seems like a fairy tale but in reality, it is a little contingent. Avoiding relationships with someone below or above you means you avoid unnecessary conflicts about company secrets and other knowledge being leaked. Plus, you’ll keep those unwanted wandering eyes from piercing through your relationship.

Take it outside

Yes, you’re in love. Yes, you can’t keep your hands off each other. Yes, it can make your colleagues a little uncomfortable. If PDA is a big part of your relationship, avoid doing it in front of colleagues. ‘If the couple keep PDA and private jokes outside of the office, this will avoid others feeling uncomfortable around them,’ says Tracy.

When it comes to a close

Never argue or fight about personal issues at work. If either of you feel that you would be better working at a different place to save your relationship, then make the decision together.

Job-hunt before you make the decision to leave, and don’t use your relationship as the sole reason for leaving a company for another. The same applies to a breakup.

As harsh as it seems, Tracy mentions: ‘Those in a workplace romance need to consider the chances of the relationship not working out.’

Talk about the realities of the relationship and how you’d deal with a potential breakup. Avoid a messy falling out, because it will affect not just you and your partner, but your workplace, too.

A workplace relationship can be just as beautiful and innocent as the ‘passing strangers becoming lovers’ trope. And while it may take extra thinking and strategy, when hasn’t a little extra effort, passion and determination resulted in a well put-together business proposal?

Words: Saadiqah Schroeder 

Photography: Gallo/Getty Images, Pexles, Freepik

The post More Than A Business Proposal appeared first on TFG Media.

When American Apparel adorned mannequins in one of their New York stores with full sets of pubic hair almost a decade ago, eyebrows raised and jaws dropped. But amidst the shock, a serious question was asked: Is the bush back? Post-pandemic, we’ve certainly embraced the bush afresh, and have emerged with new hairstyles and habits of every kind.

IN PRAISE OF PUBES

In her long-released health and lifestyle book, The Body Book, Cameron Diaz pens a section called ‘In Praise Of Pubes’, encouraging us to keep our pubic hair in its natural state. Lady Gaga’s also a fan of hair down there, showing off her trimmed bush on the cover of Candy mag long before the bush was truly accepted as cool.

And it’s not just celebs who are pro-pubes. A study from the UK found just over 50% of women don’t groom their pubic hair at all, and, closer to home, only 28 out of the 101 women photographed for Australian art exhibition and coffee-table book 101 Vagina, were near or completely hairless. Do we in fact love hair and only remove it to appease the patriarchy? Why has this been a decade-long debate?

So, was COVID-19 the death of the vajay-jay wax once and for all? Maybe. But while this penchant for au naturel may seem like a pretty trivial topic on the surface, it opens up a bigger conversation about gender stereotypes and society’s ideas on what it means to be feminine and well groomed!

THE CHOICE IS YOURS

The lack of diversity of images in adult media and beyond, as well as anecdotal evidence that most men still prefer women with a clean-shaven or close-trimmed vagina, makes many of us feel like we don’t actually have a choice when it comes to our personal grooming habits. It’s become a serious case of double standards and an endless loop of debate. We say do what you like and set the trends you want to see in the world. The resurgence of the bush will help those women who choose not to remove their pubic hair feel less like a lone wildling for their decision, particularly as people everywhere embrace more of who they are in a bid for authenticity and true choice. Being exposed to people who are saying, ‘Hang on, I don’t want to pour hot wax on my genitals every six weeks, and that’s my choice’ is great. All people should choose what they want for their bodies.

WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS?

Choice naturally also means you have absolutely every right to not want any of it at all. We get it, it’s simply not for everyone, and there are no rules, only choices. We tend to get lost even in our need to push back against the societies now wanting control, but we really shouldn’t let it stop us from embracing the individual norms we’ve become comfortable with and simply don’t want to change for a variety of reasons. We know you know the drill, we’re just here with a few tips to remind you of the pesky prep you forget to do!

1. SHAVING
TIP: Make sure your razor is clean, rust-free and sharp.

TIP: Before your shave, soak in hot water or hold a clean, warm face cloth against the shave to soften your skin. This tends to make hair removal easier.

2. WAXING
TIP: Use a mirror if you’re having trouble seeing your application area properly, tiny missed strips are annoying and unnecessarily painful to go back for when your skin has already had a shock. Opt for an ice cube and tweezer if you’ve just missed a few stray hairs.

TIP: Make sure the wax is evenly heated and not too hot, or too cold as it will not properly attach and force you to reapply too many times than is good for your skin.

PRODUCTS:

1. All Woman African Black Soap Body Scrub R149
2. Essence Eyebrow Tweezer R57.95
3. Braun SE3-420 Silk-epil Corded Epilator I Ruby R1115, Takealot
4. Wahl Rechargeable Rose Gold 9 Piece Ladies Trimmer Kit R439, Takealot
5. Hey Gorgeous Spicy Rose Body Scrub Bliss R195
6. NUXE Reve de the Body Scrub R395

All products available at selected Foschini stores and foschiniforbeauty.co.za. Prices correct at time of print

3. SUGARING
TIP: The chemical-free simple syrup means that it only adheres itself to dead skin and hair, often cleaning out the pores. Many holistic wellness clinics offer this more traditional and beneficial alternative.

TIP: Sugaring requires only 8-10 days of growth, unlike the 3-4 week wait required with conventional waxing.

4. DEPILATORY CREAM
TIP: Leave depilatory creams on for the shortest amount of time possible.

TIP: Use an alcohol-free moisturiser afterward.

5. EPILATION
TIP: Always exfoliate before epilating and use the epilator while your legs are still warm.

TIP: Remember not to moisturise after epilating!

Glow on!

To bush or not to bush is only one question. With any hair growth or removal, bright, exfoliated skin and great circulation is key especially as summer hits and many of us bring the sundresses and more revealing outfits out.

PRODUCTS:

1. Be Bare Life Bodywash bar -Peppermint / Lime / Tea Tree R54.95
2. All Woman Shower Body Massage Brush R99
3. Be Bare Life Lotion bar -Vanilla & Citrus R64.95
4. Skin Nutrition Brightening Super Prescription Capsules Price in store

Words by Stefanie Titus

Photography: Pexels, Courtesy Images

The post To Shave Or Not To Shave? appeared first on TFG Media.