Dating as a single parent is no easy task. Finding that special-someone again after a divorce is thrilling but introducingthem to your family (especially your kids) needs a lot of courage – and strategy.

Here are helpful tips on how to smooth out the initial introduction process:

Timing is everything

Children need time to overcome the fact that their parents aren’t together anymore. According to child psychiatrist Dr Mark Banschick, breaking the news to kids who are teens or younger is best done after a longer period. He explains that children need time to grieve the loss of the family life they used to know before dealing with something new.

Mention your partner before introducing them

Slowly start dropping their name into conversations with your kids, especially if your relationship is getting more serious. Let your children get used to the idea of your new partner before introducing them to one another. Try sharing interesting facts about them but be careful not to overhype your new partner to the point where your kids might be disappointed when meeting them. Mention them just enough to keep your children intrigued.

Consider your children’s feelings

Be sensitive to how your children may feel about you bringing your new partner to meet them. Your kids want to see you happy, but this new encounter affects the time they spend with you too. Reassure your kids that your relationship with them will not change because of your new partner. Make sure you mean it too. Check in and ask your kids about any concerns they may have.

Prepare your partner 

Meeting a significant other’s children is a big step in the relationship. Although you may be concerned about your family, consider your partner’s feelings as well. Have open conversations about how they feel and their reservations towards being introduced. Your partner should know about your family dynamic and how they fit into the picture. Let them in on your family’s habits, and your children’s favourite things – it’s likely an easy conversation starter.

Have a neutral setting

Introductions require the right setting. Instead of inviting your partner to your home, go to a restaurant for dinner or find a fun activity that everyone will enjoy. This is already a nerve-racking situation, so making it a fun experience will help everyone feel relaxed and comfortable enough to talk to each other.

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