First comes love, then comes … a postnup? If you’re considering discussing a postnuptial agreement with your partner but are feeling two-minded about it, we’ve got you covered. Use our guidelines to start the conversation

From the afterglow of your honeymoon to finding your first home together and other firsts, marriage can be an exhilarating experience, so why stir things up by discussing finances? Unfortunately, navigating finances is essential as it is among the top reasons for divorce. In South Africa specifically, four in 10 marriages end in divorce before the 10th anniversary, according to Statistics South Africa. And, while no one goes into marriage planning to separate, it’s important to be prepared.

What is a postnuptial agreement? 
Usually, a similar agreement is done before you walk down the aisle, called a prenuptial agreement (prenup). But if you only manage to work out your finances later in your marriage, a postnup can be drafted as a backup plan.  A postnuptial agreement, commonly known as a postnup, is a contract between a couple that outlines the division of assets in the case of divorce or death. In a nutshell, it protects your finances and other assets, particularly the wealth you accumulate after marriage. Depending on what your agreement stipulates, this may or may not include the assets you had prior to getting married. Assets include anything of monetary value such as property or land, investments, cash, vehicles and even jewellery.  Intellectual property (such as a business idea) may also be protected, depending on  what South African law states. Postnups can also protect both parties from each other’s debt, meaning you won’t be liable to pay the debt of your spouse. Before a postnup is drawn up, you and your spouse should get separate legal advice. And, once the contract is ready, you will both need to sign it.

Should everyone get a postnup?
According to research by Harvard University, 62% of participants in one of their studies believed that requesting such a financial agreement ‘sends a negative signal about marriage’. However, getting a postnup doesn’t mean you’re preempting a divorce. It’s just a layer of protection to give you peace of mind in case anything unpredictable happens. If either of you has current or future high-value assets, then it may be advisable. Debt is another reason to consider a postnup. This is because you may be liable to pay off your spouse’s debt, depending on the agreement made in court.  Having children, inheritance (cash or stocks) or a business, are other valid reasons for a postnup agreement. 

How to start the conversation 
Address the ‘elephant in the room’ early on. Choose a comfortable, private setting and initiate the topic with your partner. Explain that you feel a postnup could help prevent any emotional or financial risk in the future, for both of you. Use personal examples if possible. Make an informed decision together by discussing the pros and cons of a postnup. Be completely open about your finances, including debt, stocks, inheritance, and retirement annuities. You can both create a list for more clarity. Practise active listening and prepare for more than one conversation. Finances can be deeply personal, so give your partner a fair chance to voice their concerns. If necessary, break up the discussion (e.g. revisit it after introducing the topic). Negotiate with a professional once you’ve decided on the agreement. Along with legal advice, talking to a financial advisor can help you to decide if a postnuptial agreement is in your best interest. Lastly, remember to be patient with one another throughout the process. Although you are entering an agreement to protect your individual assets, you’re still a team and your marriage should be your top priority.  

Words by Aaqeelah Floris
Photography: Courtesy images