How to dress says so much about you. Why not use it to find your sweetheart?
Ever heard of the self-consistency theory? Put forward by author and psychologist A. Korman in the 1970s, it states that people behave and perform on a level that is consistent with their self-image. Basically, if you look good, you’ll feel good and will show off your best side and abilities. But your wardrobe and style choices are also your magical liquid luck for attracting the right people to you.
Showcasing you!
How you style yourself is a golden opportunity to put your personality on display. Think of it as marketing your ‘brand’. Humans are visually intelligent and discern a lot about someone from their appearance. Be it your aura, your mood or how you behave towards someone else, preconceived judgements are all obtained through that all-important first impression.
While we can’t run up to our crush and start blabbing about our quirks or interests, we can show them. Throw on an accessory or item of clothing that resonates with who you are and you will be telling people more about you. In this way, fashion is also a great way to connect with yourself and learn about who you are, so go ahead and experiment!
Reflecting values and outlook
There’s a sage piece of dating advice that goes: “Look for a partner in a space that aligns with your values”. You might have heard it as something else, like: “If you’re looking for a religious partner, go to church.” Similarly, you can attract someone – and be attracted to them – based on your wardrobe choices.
Asserting your beliefs and desires
Confidence is a wizard and the right outfit can make you feel like you can take over the world. (Cue Miranda Priestly’s death stare!)
Pick up your pizzazz and dress to impress yourself. It’s all about finding what works for you in terms of proportions, colour and cuts. Invest in classic pieces that are versatile, like jeans, but don’t be scared to take creative and charismatic risks.
It’s also okay to like and dislike certain styles and be confident about it. This can translate into helping you set better boundaries when you’re in the dating pool because you’ll know what you want and what you’re worth. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, whether in your wardrobe or in life!
Manifesting your dream
You don’t need to wait 10 years before you start dressing like the person you’ve always wanted to be. The person of your dreams is you, so manifest it into existence now by showing yourself who you can be. You attract what you are, so think of dressing as a way of curating your vision board for who you want to be – and who you want to be with.
Getting the lifestyle and person you want requires not only hard work but the belief that you can get there. As one user on the open writing platform Medium wrote: “You can manifest dreams through your style. Your style is more than clothing; it’s your entire vibe test. The universe takes note of everything – the way you present yourself is your style, and it’s all on record.”
You can look great on a budget; designer brands aren’t everything. Thrifting is a great way to practice sustainability and get value for your money. Go ahead: be your own stylist and create your own trends!
Presenting as a unit
We’ve seen the buzz around celeb couples who match their S/O’s style. Kourtney Kardashian went from laidback glam to more edgy and daring once her relationship with Travis Barker took off. And she’s never looked happier. Even Brad Pitt has been a ‘style chameleon’, matching his style to his partner’s.
Once you’re sure of someone and are coupled up, you start wanting to show people that you are a team, so having ‘couple items’ that you share becomes sacred (here’s looking at you, hoodie!). It also signals how you’ve accepted the positive influence of your significant other and have grown together as a couple.
Style is a beautiful signifier of where you are, who you are and what you hold dear. It’s a mirror of what you think and feel. Don’t be afraid to use it when it comes to finding a partner. Just make sure there’s always an item that carries a strong essence of you in every outfit!
Words by: Thuveshnie Govender
Photographs: Gallo/Getty Images, Pexels
