Siv Ngesi, born and raised in Gugulethu, Cape Town, has always had the ambition to become an actor and all-round entertainer – making viewers see, feel, and reframe their thoughts. He began his acting career at nine, touring the world as he performed in the play Les Miserables. “All about the best or nothing”, Siv has dominated the local and international entertainment industry, whether it was in front of or behind the camera.
His latest cinematic offering, The Woman King, is a fine testament to how his amazing on-screen talent is deeply interwoven with the way he lives life and what he stands for. “In this film I honour my mother, the quintessential woman king and the queen of my life because she was a beast of a woman; beautiful, strong, not a walk-over, difficult at times. But I think sometimes when you’re in spaces that are very masculine you have to be really strong as a woman,” he explains. “I’m honoured to call myself the son of Zanele Jaqueline Ngesi. Every time I watch this film, it’s going to remind me of my mother. This larger-than-life African narrative has received much criticism.
The Power of A Woman
The talented storyteller believes it’s a significant piece of discourse, though, showing a man’s ability to be an ally of strong women and join in their fight. “I think this film shows the epitome of what’s possible with women and femininity; it’s not just skop, skiet and donder, you know. It’s about the idea that femininity isn’t weakness. Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s strength. And this film, with its depth and narrative, shows the vulnerabilities of loss, of love, and the overall power of femininity”, he says.
“FIGHTING FOR EQUALITY AND GIVING BACK WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF MY LIFE, AND I WILL ALWAYS STRIVE TO GIVE WHAT I’M ABLE TO, NO MATTER WHAT”
A Fresh Start
As 2023 kicks into high gear, the SAFTA Award winner is ready to take on his life and career with a refreshed perspective, continuing to add memorable milestones to his outstanding legacy as a man of purposeful action. “I honestly just want to spend 2023 learning to live in a world without my mother; learning how to succeed and achieve for ‘me’ and not for my mother’s reinforcement and pride”, Siv explains.
“I have to learn how to live without my biggest steroid, and that’s my mother. I also want to be able to take the momentum I feel from The Woman King and propel it into my next projects.” When asked about his personal approach to the new year, Siv goes on to explain that every year has been one for saying yes for him.
“I don’t mean saying yes to everything. I mean saying it to the most important things, taking big risks and going for the adventure. Because losing my mother has made me realise that it all doesn’t matter in the end and life is so short. So, I’ll be taking hold of new opportunities with both hands, always.”
The Importance Of Health And Wellness
For Siv, keeping his mental state positive and healthy is super important, and staying fit and healthy is one of the most vital ways to keep a good mindset. “I only do things that I want to do. And if I’m doing something that’s working out and suddenly start thinking ‘Oh, I don’t like being here’, I don’t do it anymore. It’s as simple as that,” he explains.
For the past two years, the public has been having quite a lot to say about Siv’s fitness regimen. But he isn’t bothered because he’s doing what fulfils him. “I think people don’t understand that pole dancing is my workout. I don’t gym anymore,” he explains. “I haven’t been to gym since September 2021. I’m really a big fan of pole dancing, boxing, I play paddle… Just trying to be as active as possible. I’m 37 and I feel like I’m the fittest and strongest I’ve ever been!” Something that’s quite important to him right now is uplifting people, especially men (given the current social climate).
Positive Masculinity
“I do think male camaraderie is very important because ‘masculinity’ has been getting a really bad rap. I don’t think masculinity is the problem. It’s toxic masculinity that is the problem,” he says. “Masculinity is like nuclear power. In the wrong hands, it can destroy.
In the right hands, it can build and grow. Masculinity, for me, is a beautiful thing, like seeing the relationship between a protective father and his daughter, for instance. When you see masculinity done correctly, it’s incredible. So I refuse [to accept] the way that society has made masculinity, and the masculine, this ‘bad thing’.”
“AT THE END OF THE DAY, I BELIEVE WE SHOULD SIMPLIFY THE FIGHT; WE SHOULD ALL BE FIGHTING AGAINST PEOPLE BEING MARGINALISED, DISCRIMINATED AGAINST, AND MISTREATED”
“I think, as men, we have to hold ourselves and our friends accountable. I think silence is being an accomplice. We need to continuously push back at what society is projecting on masculinity and the negative stereotypes that are being perpetuated. We have to re-evaluate, reinvent, reimagine what masculinity means to men”, he continues.
Let’s go back to basics
“I think we also have to listen more attentively to women and engage with them as human beings. [A woman is] not just a lady, mother, sister, someone’s daughter. She’s a person. We have to go back to basics and treat women with the dignity and respect they deserve.”
Siv feels strongly about treating people correctly and living beyond all the labels society places on people, gender, identity, and so forth. “I think the problem with what the world is now, is that every single fight has a [redacted] label! I think we should go back to the basics of respect, empathy, and love. If we were able to go by these three things, there wouldn’t be all these problems,” he explains. “At the end of the day, I believe we should simplify the fight; we should all be fighting against people being marginalised, discriminated against, and mistreated.”
As strongly and passionate as he feels about addressing injustice, Siv has faced a social media backlash on occasion. But, he remains committed to speaking up for those who can’t speak for themselves, finding motivation in the feedback he receives from young people who are moved by his cause. “Recently a mother sent me a message online saying: ‘The other day I was on my period and my son asked if he could go get me a packet of pads, and I asked him if he wouldn’t be embarrassed. And he told me that uncle Siv says pads aren’t bad.
Mom, we need more uncle Sivs.’ That’s the kind of thing I live for!” “My close friend’s kid, Sanka, is four and he loves pink clothing, Cinderella, and all those ‘feminine’ things, right? Now, he’ll wear an entire Cinderella outfit, except the earrings because he says: ‘I’m not a girl, I’m a boy’,” says Siv. “For me, Sanka is a great example of what masculinity has the potential to be; doing what you want, how you want. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay or any of the other labels. It means you just want to be who you are. And if you are gay, who gives a [redacted]? Just be comfortable being you!”
Going into the new year, guns blazing, Siv hopes to keep creating quality work, get paid what he feels he is worth, and produce and create great content. He also wants to be able to create new jobs and opportunities for different people. “I want to continue to fight for the people facing injustices and marginalisation, especially through the MENstruation Foundation and fighting period poverty,” he says. “Women don’t have a switch that they can just press and go, ‘I don’t want my period’. And I think it’s an injustice that women have to suffer and pick between a loaf of bread and a packet of sanitary pads. For me, I just want to continue to fight this fight. At the moment we have about 32 000 women who are on our books that we supply sanitary pads to every single month. We’re opening up a factory soon. And we want to end period poverty as soon as possible,” he adds. “Fighting for equality and giving back will always be a part of my life, and I will always strive to give what I’m able to, no matter what,” says Siv.
“MASCULINITY IS LIKE NUCLEAR POWER. IN THE WRONG HANDS, IT CAN DESTROY. IN THE RIGHT HANDS, IT CAN BUILD AND GROW”
RAPID-FIRE Q & A
Style must-haves:
Simplicity coupled with a good pair of white sneakers
Signature scent:
Dior Oud Ispahan
Favourite colour:
Black
Quote you live by:
“The sky’s not the limit; it’s my playground”
Spirit animal:
Elephant
If I had a superpower, I’d:
Be able to fly
Follow him
Siy Ngesi @sivngesi @iamSivN
Photography by: Zhann Solomons
Stylist: Mia Tess Smith
