’Tis the season to be jolly… but that’s not always so easy. Here are six simple ways to navigate family-, health and financial issues over the holidays.
Holidays are meant to be a time of joy, of letting go, of taking a break and spending quality time with the people we love. But sometimes the pressure of having that good time, taking that special vacation, putting on the party of the year or preparing the meal of the century becomes a source of distress rather than comfort and joy. Such stress is entirely unnecessary, though – and we’ve compiled six hacks to help you have a truly happy holiday.
1. Do the things you love
One of the big instigators of holiday gloom is that feeling of waking up one morning and realising you don’t need to be at work for three weeks – but despairing because you don’t know what to do! This is often when we find ourselves falling into a rut, regressing to old patterns – often bad habits or fall-back behaviours such as shopping and all-day drinking – that do nothing to nurture the soul.
One way to avoid this is by making a list of activities that you don’t usually have time for – whether it’s reading a novel or spending time in the garden, climbing a mountain or rediscovering your passion for painting. Be sure to include experiences that you miss, that you long for, and that you know will make you happy. As your holiday approaches, refine your list into a workable schedule of achievable goals, then work your way through it for a holiday filled with quality “me time” and happy memories.
2. It’s a holiday, not a miracle: be realistic
Visualising the end-of-the-year holidays as the solution to all your woes or the fulfilment of all your dreams is a big no-no. The festive season is fraught with many ambushes of its own design: congested roads, clogged shopping centres, high prices… and if you hit the beach, it’s always packed with people.
It’s better to slide into the vacation realistically, armed with practical plans instead of overblown expectations. Think back to what went wrong (and what worked out) last year, then see where you can make adjustments to avoid similar pitfalls. Get your shopping done long before the hordes that descend at the last minute, and stay ahead of holiday price spikes by stocking up in advance. Make those bookings early and set your GPS for the quieter beaches – or stay at home for once and experience a different kind of recharge.
This idea that we ‘must do’, ‘must go’ or ‘must give’ is ultimately a sentence of stress.
3. Learn to say “no”
Holiday stress is frequently linked to an overwhelming excess of demands, from friends wanting our time and must-a end family activities to events and trips we can’t necessarily afford. There are also those self-imposed expectations around gift buying, or feeling obliged to host “festive” dinners or parties.
This idea that we “must do”, “must go” or “must give” is ultimately a self-imposed sentence of stress, which often results in feelings of resentment. Practice self-care by learning when to say “no”. The trick is to remind yourself that you are the one who gets to decide what you do every day, where you spend your time and who you spend it with. Recognise that there is only so much of you to go around and that your holidays should primarily be dedicated to doing what makes you feel fulfilled – and what you can afford in terms of time, money and energy.
4. Communicate openly and with love
The holiday spirit has a tendency to snowball, and it’s easy to start feeling overwhelmed. In the rush to contend with the many expectations during this time, very few people manage to discuss the feelings of anxiety that are welling up – not until after the holidays are over and post-holiday hangover kicks in, that is.
You can remedy this by initiating the necessary conversations. Whether that means calling together the family for a round-table discussion, or sending a well-considered group-email or WhatsApp message, you can save yourself (and others) a lot of stress simply by letting your loved ones know how you are feeling. Do it without judgements or accusations and you’re likely to find that taking this step is more likely to lead to some really wholesome, open-hearted conversations. It could even initiate the process of finding solutions, too.
5. Create boundaries to prevent mishaps
Stop pretending everything’s going to be okay even if the last 10 years have proven otherwise. If family holiday events have a habit of turning into full scale feuds, it’s madness to allow the same triggering events to keep repeating themselves. No one honestly wants another fight to erupt over the Christmas gammon, so it might be worth airing the dirty laundry before seeing yourselves up for round 35.
See what can be done to open the forum for discussion in advance of these activities; determine what can be resolved, create some rules, agree to compromise and put boundaries in place to prevent lingering issues from flaring up again. Get this done before the holidays – and definitely before the bubbly is opened.
6. Make healthy changes
There is no rule that says you must overeat, binge on junk food and hit the bubbly every day in the build-up to Christmas and New Year’s. But we’re hammered by feelings of FOMO: office parties, end-of-year get-togethers… That whole spirit of frivolity and tossing aside of responsibility has somehow gotten its hooks into us and become the norm. There is almost always an expectation of over-indulgence that’s become ingrained in the way our society operates: that’s why they call it the ‘silly season’.
But it needn’t be the stupid season. Instead of dedicating your holidays to drinking and overindulging, consider adding in activities that build your body up instead of breaking it down. Go for a run, hike in the mountains, take up meditation. Exercising and spending time in nature can be enjoyed entirely free of cost – and summer is the perfect time to get into them.
Words: Keith Bain
Photography: Pexels
