It’s been a long year already, and it’s only August. A lot of us, as women, are feeling depleted, overwhelmed, snowed-under and perhaps even feeling like we have lost our inner strength. Whether it’s because we’re a working mom trying to find the balance between family and work; a career woman trying to make a name for ourselves in the corporate world or start our own business; or a stay-at-home mom running a household and managing the entire world of little humans… there is a lot going on. 

 According to a report by Deloitte entitled Women @ Work 2022: A Global Outlook, forty percent of women in South Africa feel burnt out, and fifty-one percent of South African women say their stress levels are higher than a year ago.

 As a holistic self-care coach (Olivia Wallis) my purpose is to help women rebuild their inner strength, and to make sure they are not depleted so that they can show up and shine for the people in their lives. The key is to come to terms with the fact that you can’t change the world you are in; you can only change the way you live in the world. 

Here are a few tips to help you get back your inner strength and start living your most remarkable life.

1. Get comfortable with the chaos
Chaos is all around us. If you’re a parent, just as you get used to one thing and think you’re acing it, the next milestone or wave of chaos erupts. At work, hundreds of deadlines are constantly put on the table and the chaos seems never-ending. We need to get comfortable with the chaos. Don’t try to do everything perfectly, just get the basics done as the start so that you don’t add more pressure onto yourself.

2. The power of 1
Just do one thing. The end goal can often seem overwhelming. Start small, break things down into bite size pieces and just start at one thing. When you start with one thing, it becomes so much easier to do the second and the third. Then you’re on a roll and on your way to feeling a sense of accomplishment and achievement, which is then a further motivator to keep going.

3. Be kind to yourself
Think of a car… A car has a purpose, it’s used to drive people from place to place. If you don’t do regular maintenance on your car or fill it up with petrol, it’s going to let you down, or you’re going to get stuck. It’s the same for all the people in your life who rely on you – you’re driving things at work or at home – so you’ve got to make sure you are filling your cup with the essentials. That includes things like eating the right foods, sleeping enough, and “talking” to yourself kindly. To gauge if you’re on the right track with being kind to yourself, always ask this question, “would I treat a child this way”? If the answer is “no” take some time to readjust your thinking and reframe the narrative.

4. Let go of expectations
Expectations can be dangerous things and often lead to disappointment, creating anguish and anxiety. We expect our partners to behave a certain way or we expect our jobs to pan out a certain way. But, there are other people involved, and we don’t have control over other people. It’s not to say you shouldn’t have goals, and strive to achieve them, but if the expectations are weighing you down, let them go.

5. Stop trying to live the fairytale
Society, media and fairytales have built things up to go a certain way, for us to live a certain way and in a certain order. But in reality things happen, and life very often doesn’t go according to plan.  When life happens or tough things happen, we grow and develop. Let go of the fairytale life that we put so much pressure on ourselves to live and live the way you feel is right for you.

6. Remember, the grass is greener after the storm
When bad things happen look for the lesson and the positive outcome from it. It doesn’t mean that what you have been through is a good thing, and it doesn’t diminish the hurt and struggle that you may have experienced, it just means that you find meaning from what has happened. Once you get through a storm, things clear up. The sky is brighter than before, the grass always looks greener, and sometimes there is even a rainbow. It’s not always the perfect fairytale ending but it does come to an end, and it does work out. If it hasn’t worked out, it means that it’s not yet the end.

Photography: Pexels