It’s a subject that is almost too taboo to talk about… Self‐confidence in your adult years!
In your 30’s you are either busting your behind to build a career or working so hard at home building your family, or better yet, you’re doing BOTH; that sometimes women in their 30’s and older make no time to worry about themselves.In most women’s lives, your 30’s and 40’s are a time where you are giving so much to yourself to everyone else that you honestly sometimes don’t even know who they are anymore…and who has the time to sit down and talk about self‐confidence?! Well, we do…today. Self‐esteem and self‐confidence seems to increase substantially until age 30, then more gradually throughout middle adulthood, before peaking around age 60 and remaining stable until age 70. As a modelling Coach, and Mrs Africa Globe 2022, she shares 5 tips on how women can build their self-confidence in a world that is so scrutinised for every flaw, bump and mistake.
TIP ONE: You need to take responsibility of your own life.
Gretha: No one can live your life for you. It’s up to you to make things happen and make your life the best possible one you can live. You can’t blame others if you don’t have certain things in your life, you need to make it happen. If you want to be fit, you need to put in the training. If you want to lose weight, you need to eat clean. The only person who has control over your actions is YOU.
TIP TWO: Make the mirror your friend.
Gretha: As you get older, the needs of your body, your skin, your energy and your self-esteem change! A mirror can quickly go from being your friend to your frenemy, depending on how you judge what you see in it. Learning to like what you see staring back at you as you gradually get older takes mental strength, and whilst beauty and skincare products are endless, sometimes we just need to accept who we are for the beauty of ageing. Learning to approach the mirror with a positive mindset and celebrate every little victory, every little lump and bump, will not only help you build up self-esteem, but you’ll focus so much less on the negative.
TIP THREE: Change your thoughts
Gretha: It is so easy to get caught up with negative thoughts and negative thinking patterns. You need to make a conscious decision to change that when you find yourself thinking negatively. The more you do it, the more it will become a habit. Our lives are constantly bombarded with negativity; if you watch the news it is only sad and negative things we see and that wire our brains into thinking negative thoughts. No matter your age, write a daily gratitude list or journal your daily thoughts and teach yourself to find the positive in every situation – your mental state of mind is vitally important for a happy and healthy life.
TIP FOUR: Make an effort.
Gretha: Especially on the days you don’t feel like it, get up, and show up. Make an extra effort to look and feel your best by wash and blow-dry your hair, put on makeup and put on your prettiest/sexiest outfit you have. You will walk out of your door, feeling ready to face your day.
TIP FIVE: Be gentle with yourself.
Gretha:It is okay to have bad days – even at 40! It is okay to feel down/depressed. It is okay to cry. You need to allow yourself to have those days instead of trying to hide them or worse, bottle them up inside. Allow yourself to go for a walk, a massage or even a coffee with friends if you feel like that. Try to be gentle with yourself by allowing yourself to take a break from reality and just be in the moment – but don’t allow yourself to stay inbut don’t allow yourself to stay in that state for long periods of time. Teach yourself to heal and overcome.
Not, as some may say, ‘just a pretty face, a wife or a mother’, Gretha really does break stereotypes. She, who considers herself “a small‐town girl from Polokwane” boasts many hats as a business‐owner, entrepreneur, modelling‐coach, pageant title winner, mother and wife.
