‘Quiet quitting’ is a term recently coined to describe people who are fed up with their work circumstances, but don’t quit. Whatever the reasons for not quitting may be, employees in this situation generally stop overextending themselves and do the bare minimum, or just enough to not get fired.
This term, however, has since gotten a fresh rebranding and applies to romantic relationships, too. How? You quiet-quit your relationship by not breaking up with your partner, but instead, ‘why try?’ becomes your motto. You leave the relationship without leaving.
Think you may be the one quiet-quitting your relationship? Then listen up! We list questions to ask yourself if you believe you are and offer advice on how to move past the ‘why’.
Signs that you’re quietly quitting your relationship
If reading this hit home
If you’re worried that you’re guilty of this, then you probably are.
You’ve stopped paying attention to your partner
From subtle things such as being aloof and not listening to your partner when they speak to showing a lack of interest in a proposed date night or a day activity. Your yearning for companionship has dwindled and the spark that you once felt is no longer ‘sparking’.
You’ve severely cut down on the intimacy
When sexual activities, deep, meaningful conversations, physical affection, cuddles, celebrating small wins with each other and spending quality time together are no longer a thing for you. This may manifest as an urge to spend as little time as possible with your partner.
You’re avoid discussing the future
You refuse to engage in conversations about the future. Whether that is something as big as marriage, starting a family, planning a holiday in the near future or attending an event you’ve both been invited to. You’ve given in to the idea that things will never change anyway, so why entertain the future?
How to move past the ‘why’
If you find you’re guilty of quiet quitting, don’t beat yourself up about it! You’re imperfect, like everybody else. Psychologists observe that disengaging from your partner is something that happens progressively. Quiet quitting can happen even subconsciously, without understanding the reason.
1. With this level of compassion for yourself, it’s time to do some self-reflection and introspection. Often, the root of quiet quitting has more to do with feeling unfulfilled within the relationship. And what fulfilment looks and feels like varies from person to person.
2. Write down your expectations for the relationship and compare that to reality. Reflect on what you believe is working and not working. What are you willing to do to bring the spark back? If you feel this mountain is bigger than you, reaching out to a professional can help immensely.
3. New relationships are exciting, passionate, and filled with dopamine. But after a while they can plateau, and you start to feel bored and detached. Keeping things interesting and fun takes effort and intent – It’s not always easy, but it’s doable. Remember the little things that often made your partner smile or go back in time and recreate your first date – it’s the effort that matters most, after all.
