Maintaining autonomy in a new relationship – be it romantic or friendship – can be a tricky task…

Meeting new people and building solid relationships with them isn’t always a walk in the park. Many people may feel the urge to get the other person to like them, so much so that they do everything in their midst to impress them. You want to show them that you have things in common, or that you are a fun human to spend time with. But how often do we lose ourselves along the way? We’ve rounded up some tips to be yourself and maintain boundaries within new relationships.

1. Maintain boundaries

If saying ‘no’ gives you the heebie-jeebies out of fear that it will negatively influence your new friend or lover’s perception of you, you might be in danger of completely losing who you are. It will lead you to feel empty, confused, anxious and even more alone than you were before you met this person. Your boundaries should be respected by others, and if that’s not the case, perhaps it’s better to revaluate your relationship. Stand your ground and stay true to who you are as a person, your values and what you believe in.

2. Be yourself

We know it’s easier said than done in today’s day in age where we often fear judgement. But remember, you should be loved for who you are and not who others hope you to be, otherwise the relationship is most likely bound to be doomed.

Don’t hide certain aspects of yourself that forms an integral part of who you are as a person. Do you have some ‘weird’ traits? Embrace them! Your quirks might just be the thing that they adore most. Don’t try to live by a certain standard simply to impress them. You are perfect and deserved to be adored – now read that again and again…

3. Have some respect (for yourself)

We’re always eager to show respect towards others, but we neglect self-respect far too often and in the long run it might have a negative impact on your relationships – new and old. When we enter new romantic or friendship relationships, we tend to put their needs above our own just to come into their good books.

Don’t push yourself past your limits to make them happy. Most importantly, don’t allow them to be disrespectful towards you. The most powerful tool that comes with self-respect is not tolerating others’ disrespect toward you and not allowing things that could harm your well-being.

4. Share your likes and interests

You know how it goes: you start dating someone and soon you’re listening to their favourite music without even realising it. We get it… You want to learn as much as possible about them and you want to do everything that they enjoy just to make them happy. But don’t forget that you are part of the relationship too. Instead of doing their favourite hobbies, watching their favourite movies and going to their favourite eateries, we suggest that you share some of your interests with them too. It’s a great way for them to get to know you better while staying true to yourself.

5. Don’t neglect your people

Another pitfall that we often fall into when we enter new relationships is wanting to spend all of our time with them. But don’t be so invested in building a new bond that you completely neglect your existing ones. They most likely were there for you long before you met new people. Keep those connections strong and make sure to check up on them.

Words by Bianca Muller

Photography: Gallo/GettyImages, Pexels, Courtesy Images