We’re probably all part of at least one group chat on WhatsApp. Experts suggest that you think before you press send, and here’s why.

For many people, WhatsApp groups offer comic relief and companionship on otherwise isolated days, and it can be a source of useful information — especially in these times. Group chats are no longer only used for family and friends, but by parent groups, businesses, and those living in the same neighbourhood. But like with all forms of communication, there’s an unspoken social etiquette for these groups that, when adhered to, will foster understanding, connection and relationship. ‘We need to remain conscious of what and how we communicate on this platform because our words have power, influence and impact on others,’ says registered counsellor Simone Poppleton.

Know your audience

Ask yourself whether what you’re about to send is relevant or appropriate to the group. Couples counsellor Michael Kallenbach agrees that it’s hard to get it right for everyone in the group. But being mindful that not all members are going to enjoy a particular train of thought is important. Opt for personal messaging if your message is aimed at or more relevant to a specific person in the group. Simone suggests addressing a WhatsApp group chat as we would an in-person discussion, since screens can erode social norms. ‘If the message is intended for a professional setting, then express the message appropriately and professionally,’ she adds.

Refrain from spamming

There is nothing quite as frustrating as being bombarded with messages from your WhatsApp group, especially if it’s nothing of interest. While one person in the group might have ample time to send numerous messages, others might be busy holding down jobs or keeping families afloat. It’s best to consider whether it’s a good time to send through your messages. ‘And you shouldn’t flood everyone with too many memes. At the start of the lockdown people spent an inordinate amount of time and energy on their phones sending out a ridiculous number of memes and jokes. Perhaps it’s best to think twice before you press send to so many people,’ Michael suggests. On the other hand, if you’re the one being spammed with a ton of messages, it’s acceptable to mute the group and only check your messages once or twice a day.

Think before you speak

When it comes to communication via WhatsApp, we rely on fewer social cues to gauge what someone intended to say in the message. Simone warns that it can lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations between users, which is why we need to be aware that expressions such as tone, humour, and even emojis and punctuation can be perceived differently depending on how
it is read. ‘Be mindful of whether the message you are sending today out of anger, spite or other elevated emotions will still be appropriate next week when you are less angry,’ she says. And, importantly, Simone adds that all content shared on a group should be respectful of the various ages, races, religions, and political views that exist in the group.

Is it true?

Let’s be real, WhatsApp is riddled with fake news. ‘Do not be guilty of spreading unverified content. Before sending a message ensure [that] it’s accurate, and only share information from reliable or verified sources,’ suggests Simone. ‘And if you are going to be passing on information and news about COVID-19, ensure the sources are reputable.’ The constant sharing of COVID-19 or other news can also cause information overload with the rest of the group members, which in turn can make them feel overwhelmed and drained. According to Simone, information overload definitely impacts our mental health, with many people struggling with feelings of hopelessness. Its best to ask group members whether they would like to receive this information, and respect their decision.

Keep it cool 

WhatsApp groups are often a space with many different thoughts and opinions. This can make it a hotspot for arguments. ‘People will often use the group to vent angry or frustrating feelings or thoughts without confronting the person directly,’ explains Michael. He adds that ignoring the specific remarks or speaking to someone directly about it is the way to go. Of course, this does not include racist or sexist comments that degrades others. But even then, we need to handle it with care and respect. As Simone says, we cannot be responsible for others, and we cannot control what others are going to say in a WhatsApp group. We can only be in control of how we respond. 

Words: Bianca Muller; Photography: Gallo/Getty Images