5 tips to help you navigate your way through long-standing traditions of race, culture and religion.
There are more than 8-billion people in the world, with just as many differences. How do we navigate our way through long-standing traditions of race, culture and religion in interracial friendships?
1. Be open to continuous learning
The amazing thing about interracial relationships is that you learn more about the world in terms of other cultures, religions and languages, and how they shape the other person’s life and beliefs.
Stay open-minded and invite the other person to express themselves (just as you like to express yourself). For example, my Indian friend (let’s call her Nisha) teaches me – a Cape Malay – about Hindu Diwali and their wedding celebrations.
I teach her words like ‘kanala’ (which means ‘please’) and about Ramadan. Allow the other person to ask questions – don’t get defensive – so that they can learn more about what makes each of you, you.
2. Be true to your own individuality
In any relationship, being true to yourself is key – and this is true for both individuals. For a healthy friendship, both parties need to be free to be themselves. This can sometimes be tricky, especially when it comes to some religious and cultural practices.
You don’t have to agree with them, but understanding, accepting and having mutual respect are essential. Make a point of learning about each other’s individuality, which is influenced by background, upbringing and perspective on life.
3. Discuss and understand
What’s the one thing we always get told about relationships? Communication is key. Don’t avoid having conversations about race, religion and culture that may be challenging.
Speak about your differences, how each of you grew up, what experiences you’ve had, so that you can have more awareness about the impact and importance of these things going forward.
It’s better to know than to wonder or assume, and these types of conversations make it easier to understand, empathise and communicate with each other in the future.
4. Find supportive people
The reality is that you might not get support for your interracial relationship from certain relatives and friends. Find the people who are happy to support you and who won’t require you to justify a simple human connection you’ve made.
At the same time, don’t shy away from opportunities to educate those around you about the diverse world we live in. Know that the trust and acceptance built between you and your friend or partner will be a shining example, and quite possibly inspirational, to those around you.
5. Different but the same
Even though Nisha and I come from two different religions, traditions and cultures, we still have a jolly good time when we’re together. We studied together, we have similar interests and we love our friends and family.
We forget about the societal ‘stuff’ that may separate us. Sometimes people may look at your relationship and frown, or be a little confused or uncomfortable, but you really shouldn’t have to waste time defending your connection. Instead, focus on enjoying each other.
Words: Saadiqah Schroeder
Photography: Pexels
