Office romances were once discouraged, but now they’ve become more commonplace. ‘We spend about 75% of our lives at work, so it’s only natural that some individuals may end up meeting their partners there,’ says Robyn Jorge, a psychometrist in Joburg.

According to the 2017 Vault Office Romance Survey, 57% of workers in the US have had an office romance during their career. ‘There have been numerous cases where couples flourish in the workplace – their happiness grows with the increased interaction and workplace input – but other office romances can become destructive,’ says HR and business consultant Matt Haddon.

Studies show both positive and negative outcomes. Office romances can increase motivation and morale, adding a spring in the lovebirds’ steps. On the downside, colleagues can be disapproving and things can get messy if there’s a break-up. That’s not to say these relationships can’t work – many do. Here are some dos and don’ts to consider.

Do:

Know where you stand: What’s the company’s stance, both officially and in terms of company culture? ‘HR departments should have policies in place to protect the company, as well as make sure that workplace conduct stays professional,’ says Matt.

Stay focused: Office romances are usually only frowned upon if they impact professionalism and productivity. At work, make sure it’s business as usual.

Anticipate gossip: All eyes will be on you. ‘There are still stereotypical negative comments passed, mainly at women,’ Robyn warns. Chin up – it will soon be ‘old news’.

Declare it: Take things slow. When you’re ready, be upfront about the situation. ‘You and your significant other should meet with HR, or your senior manager, and clarify the nature of your relationship – that it’s consensual and won’t effect the working environment,’ Matt says.

Agree on boundaries: Try to keep your work and private lives separate. Had a fight? Leave it at home. Avoid spending all your free time talking about work, and have hobbies for some time apart.

Don’t:

Play favourites: ‘The main concern is managing perceptions and fairness,’ Robyn says. ‘If a team member is having a relationship with the team leader, there may be a perception (whether it has merit or not) among other employees that this person would be treated differently.’ Avoid giving your partner any special treatment but don’t be too strict with your partner, either.

Overshare: To maintain both of your professional reputations, keep the details of your private life just that – private.

Show your affection: No PDA, pet names or stairwell smooching. You should agree not to touch or flirt at all at work.

Don’t date someone in your reporting line: If you’re going to get involved, rather do so with someone at your level or from another department.

Use work emails for personal chats: Keep all communication professional at work – especially your emails.

Words: Deidre Donnelly | Photography by Mateus Souza from Pexels