Adapting the five love languages to the workplace can revolutionise relationships and create a more positive and supportive office culture.
We all know that a simple “thank you” goes a long way in making a colleague’s day, but what if we took it a step further and tailored our appreciation to each team member’s unique needs? It’s time to get personal with your work mates, but not too personal!
In his book The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman identified the different ways people express and receive love. Now, we’re not suggesting you start giving everyone hugs and kisses, but we are saying that being aware of these love languages can help you tailor your approach to meet the needs and preferences of your team members. Showing our appreciation in ways that resonate will boost morale, productivity and job satisfaction in the process.
@careercontessa Do you understand your work love languages? How about your coworkers? If you want to improve your relationship with your coworkers, or your boss, it can help to consider how they would like to be shown appreciation. To figure out your coworkers “workplace love language” start by asking these three questions: ✅How does this person treat others? ✅What does this person complain about? ✅What does this person request most often? Then relate this to the workplace love languages: Words of Affirmation = Feedback + Mentorship Quality Time = Workplace Bonding Receiving Gifts = New Opportunities + Challenges Acts of Service = Support Physical Touch = Encouraging Touchpoints So, what are your workplace love languages? Let us know in the comments! #career #careeradvice #boss #coworkers #salary #manager #workplace #toxicworkplace ♬ original sound – CareerContessa
1 Words of affirmation
People who speak this love language thrive on public recognition, genuine praise and constructive feedback.
To use words of affirmation effectively, focus on the person’s specific actions or achievements, such as a great presentation or a project done well. Be direct and person-centered in your praise, avoiding generic compliments.
Timeliness is also key, so try to offer your words of affirmation soon after the event or achievement. This can be done in person, via email, messaging or even a handwritten note – the format doesn’t matter as much as the sincerity and specificity behind the words.
2 Acts of service
People who speak this love language tend to appreciate mentorship and collaborative support.
When colleagues lend a helping hand, offer guidance or take on tasks to ease someone’s workload, it speaks volumes to those who value acts of service.
This support can be as simple as helping a team member meet a tight deadline, bringing a cup of coffee for them when they’re super busy, giving feedback on a project, or even running a meeting so they can take a break.
These gestures demonstrate that their colleagues are invested in their success and well-being, making them thrive and deliver quality work.
It has been shown that organisations that prioritise teamwork, mentorship and support create an environment where acts of service are valued and encouraged, leading to stronger relationships and a more cohesive team.
3 Receiving gifts
People who speak this love language appreciate thoughtful gestures, ‘symbolic’ rewards and professional development opportunities.
If you have a co-worker who likes giving little gifts, they most probably also like receiving them. These gifts can be thoughtful gestures, such as a personalised note or a small celebration. They can be tangible, like a book or a course, or opportunities for additional training and attending conferences or seminars. Or they can be intangible, like access to exclusive networking events or high-profile projects, or mentorship.
According to Medium.com, acknowledging workers in meaningful ways taps into the motivational power of gifts and fosters loyalty and engagement.
4 Quality time
People who speak this love language respond to one-on-one conversations, undivided attention and team-building.
For these individuals, spending quality time with both colleagues and leaders is essential for building trust, fostering collaboration and driving results.
One-on-one check-ins provide an opportunity for meaningful conversations, goal setting and feedback, helping to create a sense of connection and understanding. In meetings, giving someone your undivided attention shows you value their input and ideas.
Team-building activities, office social events and volunteering opportunities can also help to strengthen bonds and promote a sense of camaraderie. Research shows that spending meaningful time with colleagues boosts employee engagement, fosters a sense of community and drives better outcomes.
5 Physical touch
People who speak this love language want a workplace that prioritises well-being, ergonomics (good seating) and comfort.
While this may seem like a tricky love language to apply in a professional setting, it’s actually more about creating a comfortable and safe work environment.
According to Simplypsychology.com, incorporating this love language in the workplace can also be as simple as offering a handshake during greetings or a hug goodbye, or a high-five to celebrate a colleague’s accomplishment. Other forms of touch, such as a gentle pat on the back, can also be welcome on a tough day.
It’s crucial to prioritise consent and comfort. Before initiating physical touch, check in with your colleague – “Can I give you a hug?” – to ensure they’re comfortable with it Be mindful of body language and withdraw if you notice any signs of unease or discomfort.
Workplace tips
- Ask team members how they prefer to receive feedback and recognition. Offer choices.
- Observe how they respond to different types of recognition to understand what motivates them.
- Be genuine in your recognition and appreciation to build trust and credibility.
- Timely recognition boosts morale and motivation.
- Make it personal to show you’ve taken the time to think about each team member.
Words: Emma Mbuthuma
Photography: Pexels
Also read: Tips for fuel career ambitions
