Yes, you can date without drama. Here’s how!

Endless drama got you hot and bothered? Ain’t nobody got time for that! Here’s the lowdown on how to keep your relationship drama free. 

What is ‘drama’ anyway? 

Too clingy, too extra, too many arguments… sound familiar? Yip, this is drama. And it’s not a great space to be in – especially if you’re in a new relationship or just found your bae. So, how do you date without drama?  

1. Talk it out – clearly  

Easy said than done, right? We tend to overthink our words and focus too much on how the message will be received, and very often, this stops us from having very NB conversations. But the truth is that nothing beats a good, open and honest talk – face to face. Be clear and intentional with your words, always.  

2. Forget the games 

Quit playing games – it’s that simple. Waiting a few days to reply to messages, not letting bae know how you really feel or acting like they don’t really matter (when you know you’re crazy about them) is just not cool. Once you’re able to change this behaviour or identify it very early on, you’ll already be one step closer to a drama free dating zone.  

3. Know where you’re at 

Are you in the right headspace to be dating? Is your partner? Being in a good, healthy headspace is important to having a healthy relationship. Has either of you just ended a long-term relationship? Are you working through family or career drama? Trauma? Take time to work on yourself before committing to someone else or they might end up feeling like an annoying distraction.  

4. Be rational  

Reacting emotionally in arguments is a definite way to bring the drama. You may end up saying things you don’t actually mean. Instead, take a few moments for yourself, a ‘time-out’, to think rationally about what you’re arguing about. Once you have time to process your feelings and really think about what is being said, you’ll have a clearer understanding of the problem and will likely react differently. This is a skill that takes time to learn, but once you do, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache.  

5. Manage expectations 

If you’ve just started dating someone, make sure your expectations – and theirs – are clear from the beginning. For example, if you enjoy chatting on the phone twice a day but they only think it’s important to text you back at the end of their day, you could end up feeling like you aren’t as important to them as they are to you, when the truth is that your styles of communicating is just different. Understanding each other’s expectations may eliminate unnecessary fights.  

Words by Ayesha Smedley