The right mentor can take your career to new places. Here’s how to find and keep one.
In a world where careers are no longer linear and industries evolve almost overnight, mentorship has become one of the most valuable tools for professional growth. Whether you’re a graduate stepping into the workplace, a mid-career professional looking to pivot or an entrepreneur trying to navigate uncertainty, the right mentor can shorten the learning curve and provide clarity when the path is unclear.
Mentorship can have a profound impact on both confidence and career direction, says career coach Enrico Petersen. “A mentor may have already made the mistakes you haven’t made yet and are able to guide you as you approach crossroads in your career,” he explains.
More importantly, mentorship is not only about advice, but also about network and guidance. “Having a mentor is like having someone in your corner who can offer perspective, open doors and hold you accountable. It’s also someone holding a mirror reflecting both your blind spots and your potential.”
Start with your why
Before reaching out to anyone, it’s important to understand what you are actually looking for. Are you seeking guidance in a specific industry? Do you want help building confidence, navigating leadership or changing careers? The clearer your “why,” the easier the “how” becomes.
“A good starting point is to begin with a goal,” says Enrico. “Then find someone who you admire that has already achieved that goal.”
He recommends making a shortlist of three to five people whose professional paths have inspired you. Rather than chasing status or titles, focus on people whose values, work ethic and career journey genuinely resonate with you and then plan to reach out.
“Call it an exploration or insights session. You want to ensure there is chemistry,” he says.
This approach removes pressure from both sides and allows the relationship to develop naturally.
@sophiemarketing Mentors are a great way to gain clarity and progress in your career. #mentor #mentoring #careeradvice #careertok #manager #managerlife #work ♬ original sound – Sophie | Careers & Marketing
What makes a good mentor?
Not every successful person makes a good mentor. In fact, one of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming experience and status automatically translates into mentorship ability.
Enrico suggests using a simple framework called VCA: Values, Vision and Availability. “You want to work with someone whose integrity you respect, who understands the direction you are heading in, and has the time capacity to invest in you.”
Availability, in particular, is often overlooked. A brilliant executive may not have the emotional space or consistency required to mentor effectively. It is also important to choose someone who challenges you, rather than simply validating every idea you have.
“The most valuable conversations are when mentors challenged my thinking, my views and my decisions,” he says. “You want to be able to walk away feeling that there was growth.”
@hackeddonttrust These are some of the biggest red flags from mentors – and you can spot them early on in the process!! #businessmentor #entrepreneurmentor #mentorships #fempreneur #mompreneurs #mombosslife ♬ original sound – LM
Healthy mentor relationships tend to leave mentees feeling both supported and accountable. A good mentor remembers previous conversations, celebrates your progress and is honest about areas where you still need growth.
On the other hand, there are clear warning signs to look out for. “Watch out for someone who makes the conversation about themselves,” Enrico advises. “Or someone who creates dependency instead of encouraging independence.”
A mentor’s role is not to make you reliant on them. It is to help you eventually trust your own judgement.
How to make the first approach
Don’t let the fear of sounding desperate or transactional stop you before you even begin. Enrico believes the key lies in reframing the interaction.
“Lead in with curiosity, not a request,” he says. “People respond to being seen and appreciated.” Instead of sending a generic message asking someone to mentor you, focus on a specific piece of their work, insight or achievement that impacted you.
A thoughtful message could sound something like this: “I came across your work on [specific project/post/article/talk], and it shifted how I think about [topic]. I’m currently navigating [stage of your career] and the way you have approached [an aspect of their career] is something I find really inspiring. I am looking to take up a lot of your time, but if you are open to a 20-minute conversation, I would be incredibly grateful.”
Remember, the emphasis should always be on connection rather than extraction.
Mentorship in the digital age
For South Africans living in small towns or with limited professional networks, mentorship opportunities may seem out of reach. But technology has fundamentally changed access. “Geography is no longer the barrier it once was,” says Enrico. “I would say visibility and initiative is.”
Online communities have created opportunities to connect with professionals from around the world. However, he warns against treating these platforms like cold-calling directories. Instead of just sending random requests, engage thoughtfully with people’s content first. Comment meaningfully, contribute to discussions and build familiarity over time.
“LinkedIn works best when you treat it as a professional community,” he explains. “Warm connections convert far better than cold ones.”
The secret to being a good mentee
Mentorship is a two-way relationship. “Come prepared,” advises Enrico. “Do your homework before every meeting. Follow through on everything you say you will do. And keep them updated on progress.”
Mentors are often deeply motivated by seeing growth happen in real time. One of the best ways to strengthen a mentorship is to demonstrate action. If a mentor offers advice, implement it where possible and report back on the outcome.
A short update such as, “I took your advice on X, here is what happened and what I’m currently working on,” shows gratitude and initiative without overwhelming the mentor.
When it comes to long-term relationships, mentees should not only approach mentors when they need something or are facing challenges, as this creates negative associations.
A strong long-term mentorship should evolve into an authentic professional relationship built on mutual respect and genuine connection.
When to move on
Not all mentorships are meant to last forever — and that is not a failure. Growth can mean reaching a point where your challenges evolve beyond your mentor’s expertise, or where you begin developing confidence in your own decision-making.
“When the conversations start feeling more like reporting than exploring, that’s often a sign,” says Enrico.
You may even feel unnecessarily guilty about outgrowing a mentor relationship, but, he points out, “outgrowing a mentor is not betrayal. It’s evidence that the mentorship worked.”
Small Steps, Big Impact
For those who are looking to build mentorship connections, Enrico recommends three simple actions:
1 Identify & Engage
Choose one person you genuinely admire. If they’re online, then engage with their work. If they’re a colleague, ask questions and see what that relationship can develop into. If someone you meet at an event, then have a conversation and get their contact details.
2 Reach Out With Intention
Send a thoughtful and specific message to a potential mentor that signals your interest, whether it’s a DM, Teams or an email.
3 Start Where You Are
Look within your current network, workplace or community — mentors don’t have to be famous or far away. The most impactful mentor for you may be someone who has experienced the same thing you have.
@mentorexplainsitallHave you wondered how to ask someone to be your mentor? How has this worked for you? Asking to be a mentee may seem intimidating, but you’ve gotta just go for it!♬ original sound – Mentor Explains | work+life
Words: Claudia Da Silva
Photo: Gallo/Getty Images
