There are very few moments more gut-wrenching than a serious diagnosis like cancer
A cancer diagnosis is quite devastating and life-changing, not just for the person, but also their loved ones. Cancer might be a silent killer, but early detection, regular visits to your doctor, listening to your body and medical advancements have ensured that many people recover and live a full life. However, ‘The Big C’ is a scary diagnosis to navigate and losing a loved one is never easy. In this article, we get to know four inspiring women who have beaten the odds and are proof that cancer isn’t always a death sentence.
Judy Mekeur, 56
In December 2018, it was nothing more than an annual routine check-up until her doctor did a breast exam and discovered a lump. She hadn’t noticed anything prior to the appointment, but her doctor immediately referred her for a biopsy and not long after, she received the devastating news that it was cancer. It felt as though her world was falling apart and the thought of chemotherapy felt like a death sentence. ‘I remember on my first day of chemo, my sister accompanied me. I told her I am going to the bathroom and won’t be returning to the oncologist rooms for treatment. At the time it appeared to be a joke, but I was beside myself and trying to hide my emotions,’ she says.
Despite the initial fear, Judy returned and started treatment. She wasn’t always confident that she would beat cancer, but one day she decided to place her trust in her faith, and it provided some form of comfort. The day she heard she was in remission; it was a surreal moment. Nothing quite prepares you for a cancer diagnosis, but in the same breath you are never really prepared for that day. You hope it will come, but when it does, it is hard to believe you made it. ‘At first I was extremely emotional, and I just felt eternally grateful and thankful that I recovered,’ she says.‘I try not to think about it too much, but every time I go for a six-month check-up, I become a little anxious and anytime I have an ache or pain, I start wondering whether the cancer came back.’ It is only human to have moments of doubt, but for the most part, Judy has put cancer behind her and tries to now make the most of each day she is given.
Charmaine Habelgaarn, 64
Remaining positive and believing that cancer can be beaten is half the battle won – that’s her outlook. Living as healthy as possible and boosting her immune system has become very important to her. She was 49 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and says she is grateful she listened to her body and didn’t wait to seek medical attention. Life gets so busy and we often delay a doctor’s visit, thinking it is probably not that serious, but when she experienced continuous pain in her breast and noticed her nipple had gone in, she made an appointment immediately.
‘Having a mastectomy and going through chemotherapy was extremely difficult, but my children were very young at the time, and I knew I had so much I still wanted to experience. Physical treatment is tough on your body, but the emotional part is even harder. Losing my hair was one of the hardest parts of the journey and I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. People underestimate the impact on your self-esteem.’ Charmaine says cancer takes you on a roller coaster of emotions and the mental battle is even more important than the physical battle. After chemotherapy, she had refused to believe that she wouldn’t be fully healed, but she also admits that 15 years later she still has days when she worries about a doctor’s check-up not going as planned. ‘You have to make the choice to not think about cancer and live as though the cancer was never there. Since then, I’ve become a grandma and there are so many memories and milestones I am so blessed to have experienced.’
Taryn Ulster, 35
Never having been diagnosed with cancer herself, this mother of five was pregnant with her first daughter when they received the news that her second eldest had cancer.‘My son Craig was four when they discovered a tumor. He had complained about pain and was not his usual self when we took him to the doctor. Normally I would just give him something for pain, but for some reason I reacted differently that day and took him to the doctor. Call it a gut feeling. Initially he was booked in for an appendectomy and it was during surgery that they discovered it wasn’t his appendix and that he was bleeding internally as a result of a ruptured tumor in his kidney,’ she says. As a parent, you never want your child to be in pain or go through something as challenging as cancer. She had wished she could spare him the pain and switch places, but she says it was also amazing to see how resilient children can be. Being pregnant made the cancer diagnosis even more emotional for them because every pregnancy milestone went hand in hand with a cancer milestone.
They received the good news of his remission a month after she gave birth to her fourth child and she says their family is stronger and makes it their mission to love one another even harder, after experiencing something so challenging. While many parents have lost children to cancer, Taryn says she is so grateful to get to watch her son grow into the wonderful and active nine-year-old he is today. ‘It can be very hard on a family, but what helped us was being informed. We asked lots of questions and wanted to know the medical terms and medications. You can never fully be prepared but having some idea of what to expect helps you worry less and feel more confident. I also started my blog around that time and used my platform and social media pages to share our journey and what I was feeling. It really helped to connect with other people,’ she says. ‘In May 2023 Craig will be five years cancer free and will get to ring the bell and officially be discharged from Red Cross Children’s Hospital. None of us can wait for that day, but for now we just love each other and our crazy adventures as a family of seven.’
Candice Baron, 31
Candice had always struggled with heavy periods and debilitating pain. She was only 13 years old when she visited the doctor
and was told that she has endometriosis. She was also told that she was at risk for cervical cancer, which she was later diagnosed with. It was a difficult and shocking diagnosis for a young woman, especially since it would affect her ability to have children of her own.Over the years she had 17 surgeries and at least five biopsies on her cervix to monitor the cancer, with multiple radiation sessions. Unfortunately, nothing cured her pain in the cervix and even everyday tasks such as hanging the washing would result in her being bent over in pain. After struggling to conceive, Candice asked her doctors to further investigate as they couldn’t understand why IVF was not working. In March this year, Candice reached the end of her threshold and told her doctors she couldn’t live in pain anymore.
It was a heartbreaking decision, but after trying everything to conceive, Candice had to choose her health and make the difficult decision to have a full hysterectomy and cervix removal. ‘At that point, I couldn’t take a broom and sweep my own home or do normal everyday things, because I would be in so much pain and couldn’t do anything for myself. I asked them to remove everything in the hope that I could have my life back, and my life has changed so much since having my surgery this year. After surgery we got the news that my cancer was in remission, because by the grace of God, it hadn’t spread further than my cervix. If I had waited another two years, it probably would have spread, because there was only so much they could do for me, before it starts to spread,’ she says.‘My journey has completely changed my view on life, I’m much stronger because of it. There were days when I felt I couldn’t anymore, but I thank God for my family and my husband who really have been my strength and support. Regular therapy sessions also help a lot, you have to give yourself room to process.’ Candice says the best thing anyone can do to support a loved one battling cancer is, be there for them. Go to at least one doctor’s visit and ask questions, so that you know how to support them during and after.
Words by Tarren-Lee Habelgaarn
Photography: gallo/gettyimages, courtesy images
