Since it’s the month of love, we thought it would only be fitting to share tips on how you and your partner can improve on your relationship, one love language at a time.
American author Gary Chapman is most popularly known for his The Five Love Languages book series which zooms in on human connections and relationships. Gary emphasises that ‘love is a choice you make every day’, and that part of making that choice is learning how to communicate and express your love for your significant other, no matter their age or creed.
It’s important to remember that, while you may love someone and attempt to show that in your own way, this does not automatically mean your partner feels loved. Hence, the way your partner ‘gives’ love isn’t necessarily the same way that you understand and ‘receive’ it.
Let’s take a look here at the five primary love languages and what they mean for different individuals. Be mindful that your partner may have multiple love languages that intersect, and which can even change over time because of different life circumstances.
Be aware that your own love language might be very different to that of your partner. It’s all about finding balance.
1. Words Of Affirmation
If your partner blushes at any expression of affection then it’s likely that this is their most dominant love language. They will appreciate praise, kind notes, compliments and encouragement.
If this sounds like your partner, take note of all the small details, let them know that you appreciate all of their hard work and effort, and that you feel proud of what they’ve achieved and are working towards.
TIP: Sending your partner quotes or inspirational memes could really make their day and earn you extra brownie points at the same time.
2. Quality Time
If you notice that your partner is a great listener and appreciates you making eye contact when you’re talking, then it’s clear that they appreciate undivided attention from you. For them, quality trumps quantity and they are happiest when their loved one is present during shared moments.
TIP: Avoid being glued to your phone when in their company and simply listen attentively rather than jumping in to offer advice too often.
3. Physical Touch
If this is your partner’s love language then physical or ‘tactile’ affection, such as hand holding, hugs or that reassuring shoulder squeeze, is what truly shows them that you care. But don’t get the wrong idea.
Showing them love through physical touch doesn’t just mean sex. This is a common misconception. With this type of life companion, what matters most is proximity and feeling close to their loved ones, as they’re the cuddle enthusiasts of the bunch.
TIP: Try working out together and offering hands-on coaching. Or do a fun weekend activity together, such as bowling or swimming, where you can physically help them to improve their technique.
THE WAY YOUR PARTNER ‘GIVES’ LOVE ISN’T NECESSARILY THE SAME WAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND AND ‘RECEIVE’ IT.
4. Acts Of Service
If this is your partner’s primary love language, then they feel reassured and loved when you offer to do considerate things for them, such as repairing something that is broken or even just making a snack for them after a long day.
People who resonate with this love language tend to take extra special note of the little things and will often be seen doing small favours for others too.
TIP: Relieve your partner’s daily stress by assisting them with small tasks such as creating a PowerPoint presentation for a pitch at work or helping them to prepare answers for an important interview.
5. Receiving Gifts
This shouldn’t be misunderstood as an obsession with worldly things or being ‘greedy’. Nor is it the same as ‘Acts of Service’. The love language of gift receiving is focused on the thought, time and effort that has gone into selecting a gift, rather than the value of the physical gift itself. These partners get the ‘warm fuzzies’ simply knowing that the person they love understands them and is paying attention to their preferences, ideas and shared memories.
TIP: Small tokens of appreciation have the greatest impact here. Even hand-picking and delivering flowers that made you think of them will make your beloved swoon!
Words by Charndré Emma Kippie
Photography: Gallo/Getty Images
