It goes without saying that raising grateful kids should be one of the top priorities of every parent. Editor Melissa Ndlovu share tips on how to instil and reinforce the importance of gratitude.
Our little ones are always being exposed to the finer things of life, and they may feel entitled to some of them things. But it’s never too late for you to take hold of the reigns and raise kids who are selfless, grateful, emotionally sound and kind.
These days, children are exposed to streaming services, smartphones, takeaways and all the fun things modern society has to offer. And, yes, as busy parents, we often don’t think of the long-term effects – nor the resulting expectations – of using these luxuries as a way to get through the day.
I, for one, am guilty of this and quickly had to face reality when my kids would recommend ordering-in on a whim. I had to take stock of my own behaviour and what I was teaching my children: these were luxuries, not necessities.
I frantically sought out a book to help me along, stumbled upon Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World by Kristen Welch and took stock of a few helpful hints to add to my arsenal of getting my kiddies (or myself!) on the right track. Behaviours are learned, and when I read:
“And as uncomfortable as it sounds, parents who want less-entitled kids have to be less- entitled themselves, and parents who want to raise more grateful kids need to start by living more grateful lives” it truly hit home for me. So on my mission to spark gratitude within my kiddies, I tried changing and implementing a few things in their lives.
Give These A Try
Some of the over-arching themes in Archer’s book include:
- Be a parent, not a friend to kids: you can be their friend once they’re independent.
- Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ and accept the resulting fall-out: no matter how ugly it is.
- Stick to the rules you think are best for your kids, even if it makes you uncool: for example, holding off on giving them smartphones.
- It’s OK for kids to experience failure or unhappiness: sometimes the best way to help our kids is to not help them.
- Don’t let your home become centred around your children: “In a child-centred home, kids expect more of us and less of themselves.”
Set An Example
Kids learn a lot from watching their parents. Show them what it means to be grateful by offering a genuine ‘thank you’ to someone who does something for you. But don’t just stop there – thank your kids for doing something that is helpful. Involving them reinforces positive behaviour and lets them know they are appreciated by you.
Involving them reinforces POSITIVE BEHAVIOUR and lets them know they are appreciated by you
Have A Chat
For some children, especially when young, it helps to talk about how showing appreciation makes other people feel. Try asking your child how they feel when people say ‘thank you’ to them for doing something nice, and likewise when they do the opposite.
Analysing their own feelings will help them to understand how behaviour affects others and makes it easier for them to understand the emotional benefits of being grateful towards others.
Give Them Chores
As basic is it may seem, making sure your kids have chores to do around the house develops a sense of responsibility and purpose.
You could start them off with small things like packing away their toys, drying the dishes, sweeping the kitchen or vacuuming their rooms. Small steps to big results.
Put Things Into Perspective
Talk to your kids about those who are less fortunate. Don’t scare them, but don’t keep them in the dark either. Understanding that not everyone has the same privileges as they do will help them to develop compassion for others and gratitude for their own belongings.
You should allow gratitude to be part of their bed-time routine: when you put them to bed at night, ask them to list three things they’re grateful for. Even if they’ve had a bad day, it will help them – and you – to end the day on a positive note.
Allow Children To Contribute
Whether it’s saving up to pay half the price on a new gadget, buying their own bikes, or contributing to their own civvies money, giving our children the opportunity to work hard for what they desire will teach them to value what they have, and receive, a lot more.
